-Knock Knock
*Who’s there?
-Doctor.
*Doctor who?
-No, Doctor Octopus!
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Not sure whether the first one might be considered NSFW, I hope not.
- Hey kids! What’s the difference between an orange and a human being?
You don’t get arrested for peeling off orange skin. - What do aliens use to repair their spaceship?
Abduct tape
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that is okay, NSFW things include $eX, terrorism, as well as metioning that EVIL german dude with a short mustache and other similiar things.
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Don’t say bad $eX word pls.
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Take it back or I’m telling a trusted adult.
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Dragon! clap clap Dragoff!
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What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW
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Please help. I’ve just paid for my meal at a Burmese restaurant but the cash register divided by zero somewhere.
It’s reading “NaaN.”
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thanks for reviving this thread. i want more jokes. MORE JOKES DAM IT!
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“Why do ants live in hills?”
“All the valleys were taken.”
Give a man an airplane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day. Throw him from an airplane, and he’ll fly for a lifetime.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
How many wives are needed to screw in a lightbulb? Three. Two to argue about it and one to make her husband do it for her.
I don’t like elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
There was a bar atop a skyscraper. Man 1 was sitting there when man 2 entered, ordered a giant keg of beer, drank all of it, and leapt from the window. A short time later, man 2 entered again, drank another keg of beer, and leapt. This repeated until man 1 stopped man 2 and asked “How are you leaping from the window without dying?” Man 2 said “It’s very simple! Beer makes you warm, and warm air rises, so with a belly full of beer you gently float to the ground.” Man 1 said “That’s amazing! I must try it!”, so he drank a keg of beer, leapt from the window, and was pulverized upon slamming into the ground. Then the bartender said “Superman, you’re an ass when you’re drunk.”
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wanna hear a potassium joke? K.
what do we do to a dead chemist? we barium.
was going to tell you a sodium joke but Na.
Give a man a game and he’ll have fun for days. Teach a man to make games and he’ll never have fun again
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Truer words have never been spoken
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i enlightened pumpkin once
i opened his eyes as a result
you can say i carved them
well id say he got a true eye opening experience
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Who names Yellowknife? The Chinese people, of course.
That joke doesn’t make any sense. Are referring to Chinese names?
It’s because Asian people have a “yellow” skin. Maybe it wasn’t appropriate to bring this joke…