just because you can progress to multicellular stage because of binding agents doesn’t mean its guaranteed that a planned feature will be implemented where you wont need to actually be multicellular to get to aware stage.
if it is scientifically proven to be possible it is almost guaranteed to be in the game by 9.0.0 because that will be after the ascension stage is fully made and by that time the devs will probably have enough donations to hire full time coders and designers
ah yes, if single cellular lizards made of a thin glass layer and cytoplasm prove to be possible…
then again, this IS a joke achievement thread, soo…
they are possible and i have all the information to prove it. the only factors preventing it are the fact that no currently existing polynucleate has myofibril if you don’t count cells of multicellular organisms and the fact that no prokaryotes can stretch to the limits needed for an efficient nerve and no polynucleates have turned a geobacter metallireductens specimen into a neuron. so put the information for myobibril and all you need to control and use it in a polynucleate, make a species of geobacter that acts like a neuron but uses patterns instead of neurotransmitters for data transfer along their axons based off of geobacter metallireductens, place one into the polynucleate, and wait. but they could also just evolve the neurons themselves from a vacuole or a prokaryote that was in it.(most large polynucleates have plenty of bacteria in them but they are all ones that either just don’t harm it or are beneficial to it because they have immune systems.)
TLDR: give me the tools to modify genes and the knowledge of how to read genes and i will make it IRL with just those, some pond water, some of my skin cells, and a lot of time.
You literally can’t prove anything.
This still would just show that it is possible to do artificially (which is impossible to do either way), but it clearly is impossible in nature throught means of evolution.
it is pretty easily possible if you populate a sterile planet with just diatoms.
anyways, as this is the joke achievements thread, no more science talk.
They would evolve multicellularity, and if they didn’t they would take too much time to evolve since unicellular evolution is slower than the one of multicellular beings and would all die because the star dies.
i said no more science talk
Oops: do something innappropriate without realizing it and accidentally get a thread locked.
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which you already did once and i prevented what was almost the second one by making a moss creature eat the reason it almost happened
Yea, sorry about that, by the way.
what was i THINKING?
probably thoughts that are not safe for forums
I hate being a hormone-addled teenager.
i am a teenager going through puberty and i handle Belgium like that far better than you.
also if you feel like doing that 
again just don’t and do something else
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Ouch. 
I have no response, honestly.
- Seventh seal: Fall to 0 hp, but play a game of chess with grim reaper and win back your life
- Wait I am still in lava: Do the thing above but immediatedly die again
- An extra nipple*: Open your dna and make the screen reader read it outloud, all of it
- Not that I reccomend: Release the virus you designed in thrive and cause 10k casualties in real life
- Turing complete: Open the video game editor and program thrive
- Turingception: You get this achievement if you received the turing complete achievement in a thrive you programmed in thrive
- Thrive the scratch, i guess: Design a game in the game editor that ends up having a subreddit with 100 subscribers in real life
- Medieval relativity: Play on the surface of a black hole and build a catapult that shoots light (society)
- If I can’t into space, noone can: You made it to the industrial stage and attempted to launch your first spaceship. You failed and the resulting societal ptsd prevented you from ever trying to go to space again. Your civilisation decayed and you went back to awakening stage. Then you started evolving again and became a cell. This cell species became spacebourne via radiopanspermia. You went to another solar system and found an industrial species attempting to launch their first spaceship. You played a plauge inc game and, the lockdown measures resulted in a chain of events which caused stuff like an earlier brexit and the first spaceship attempt failing.
- Bite a byte: Enter a computer and make a biting attack to an ai with your avatar
- Omnipresent ghost donator: Play as a language and go extinct after giving loanwords to all the other languages in your planet
- Reencarnationary communism: Choose capitalism as your economic system and close the game. Open a new game in the same galaxy and come to the same planet or open a new game in the same planet. Turn your country into a company. Close the game and open the previous game. Find that company and give it privalages, turn it into a monopoly. You now control everything like a communist but you are a capitalist.
- Now that’s some hard work: Build the eiffel tower in cell stage
- Intelligence veteran: Evolve for millions of years. Then, a species in your planet evolves intelligence. It starts changing the planet, then leaves it and ascends in something like 10 thousand years. Nothing noticable happened for you, its just that some species went extinct(don’t go extinct), some evolved (made pets or received genetic engineering) and every species now lives in every patch(they escaped zoos or hatched a ride in a cargo ship).
- Calm blood: Don’t use energy to pump blood, it moves in a single direction thanks to a tesla valve
- Scientificly accurate love: Have a heart shaped heart or a heart shaped heart shape
- Genetic carnot cycle: Extract bio-thermodynamical work from the geneflow between two previously isolated populations
- Juditionary meme: Play as a law and spread to 5 other patches (constitutions)
- Achivemind: Become a hive mind that works off of ac electricity
- May i mayo?: Upgrade a fat tissue into the mayoneise tissue
- My favorite respiration in summer: Design a citric acid cycle that creates lemonade as a byproduct
- Life is a dance floor for me: Fulfill the requirements for unlocking the dance editor when you have just 1 cell
- Pecos bill: Create a tornado for your movement
- War makes money: Play as a military industrial complex and make more than 50% of a country’s gdp be dedicated to potential or real war
- Why do I have so evil thoughts: To cause maximum civilian damage, trigger a false positive nuke alarm. When people understand that no nuke is coming and start exiting their bunkers, send nukes for real this time. A lot of people assume the warning isn’t new and exit regardless, and die horribly
- This is evil in a different way: In the tech editor, design a smartphone that is powered by cycling, and the whole memory is deleted if it runs out of power, and the phone always leaks battery even if it isn’t used
- Dr evil, i guess: Do something very evil, such as stealing an elderly lady’s retirement savings or digging a hole around a tree so that the cat stuck up there would fall for a longer amount of time if it ever jumped
- Devils advocate: Defend someone in court who is seen as the devil in a religion
- Marcions bible*: Your religion died out but it was so heretical that the theologians of another religion quoted it word for word in order to disprove it, and your holy book wasn’t lost
- Kachow: Use the sound of an engine as a mating call (hear that from a crashed spaceship in aware stage? autobots from silicon life?)
- External interoception: Your brain measures your blood sugar level by occationally making you bite your tounge and taste your blood
- Phonic neurons: Have two different brains that arent connected by nerves, when they have to speak with each other, they speak in the literal sense, whith their respective mouths
- an business: Start a business of selling n word passes
- Splaining spell: Evolve toxic masculinity or femininity
- Hello, self: Play as a cancer and become a part of the microbiome of your previous species
- Size doesn’t matter: Recreate the plot of the bee movie in thrive
- The answer is in base 13: Find the question to the answer of life, universe and everything
- Maybe the real ascension was the friends we made along the way: Intentially slow down your ascension research so that you can spend more time with your friends in the multiplayer thrive game
- Wait! There is a dlc: Capture object petit B
- Snake ascension: By eating apples, grow so long that you fill the planets surface and no more apples are spawning
- Oh dear*: Kill god with logic
- Desk killing: Have a deskilled population
- Shapeshifter: Have the perfect stealth, but only against echolocators
- They are buerocrats morty, i don’t respect them: Kill 100 beurocrats
- Funniest belgium ever: Turn yourself into a pickle
- Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!: Weaponise a joke
- Greenpeace didn’t like this: As an explosive or a fire breathing creature, cause a glacier to seperate from the main icy body in a planet that is going to have a hotter climate when you exit the editor the next time
- Sterilised planet: Remove all microbial life from a planet which has multicellular life
- Accidentally nice: Don’t have a concept of human rights but impress a civ that likes human rights
- Global drainage: Connect the oceans to an empty underground reservour in order to change the sea levels for some reason
- Hydra: Don’t have a fixed number of heads
- Genus 3 torus: Have two necks but one head
- People like not being listened: Do the unpopular decisions in the opinion polls more often than the popular decisions but still have more than 50% approval rating at the end of your term in office
- Adoption by pterodactls: After you revived extinct flying creatures (you can’t fly), they escaped and built a nest on top of a mountain or tall buildings. Since they grew up always seeing you, they saw you as their close kin, so they started to abduct your people, bring them to their nest and adopt you. 25% of your population got kidnapped.
- Convergent history classification: Divide your planets history into eras the same way an ancient alien species that visited and researched it did
- Alfa centaro: Inside the game, one of your youtubers compose a video about top 50 facts about the nearest other solar system
- Your mind is making you a joke: Stay awake because an epic is always attacking your village at nights. When it appears again, throw a lot of spears and have great casualties but be succesful in defeating it, but when you try to pproach the carcass, notice that it doesn’t exist, you were hallucinating due to insomnia
- Enough with the subjugation: Play as the right brains (or whichever side is neglected) and make a revolution, thanos the left brains into ash after collecting all the ascension stones
- Be one with the nature: Every creature in your planet, including microbes, is a part of a hive mind
- Flying fish: Fly in the air but have the body type of a fish, do the same movements faster
- Task manager diversity: Play thrive while at the same time other apps are using 3 times more cpu or gpu
- Fiery birth: You leave your eggs in a nest and they hatch when the heat from the decomposing plant material forming the nest results in spontenious combustion
- There was once a game in third rock from sol: Find steve and look at it while having the eightbit filter on
- The truth mechanic: Evolve or invent the lasso of truth
- Paradox time: In the economy/job editor, make a barber that cuts the hair of only those who don’t cut their own hair, and crash the game
- Politics, man: Make an internal combustion engine from political pressure
- Shhhhh soviets are here: Switch to sign language to make your submarines quieter
- Heart broken: Play as a heart and become cancerous, turn blood veins into roots and feed from the rest of the creature like a xenomorphic plant, then release spores and reproduce asexually
- Angry plancenta: Play as a placenta, get cancer and start walking and moving around, killing other creatures and giving birth to identical twins of the original baby you were supposed to look after like a mass production
- Oh napoleon: Send a general to ligma island*
- Sus: Do something sus
- The real reason behind the lack of new miracles: After discovering that your sun moves in the galaxy, try to go back to where your holy land was, the coordinates are in empty space
- Light year long ship: Transmit sound from one solar system to another without a wormhole
- Cellular domminance: Have a patch where 50% of the water is encased in cells
- Galactic product placement: Find a pepsi can* in an alien planet
- Genestealer: Contain the instructions for forming a cult in your genetic memory
So Poland is a Yandere now? 
Funfact: Mirosław Hermaszewski was the first, (and so far the only) Polish person who was in space. So yes, Poland can into space.
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aw sh!t here we go again: die at the hands of an apex predator and come back for more
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$@!&:
Finish the ascension gate and then have it be hit by an asteroid and break.
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