Here is my entry, I hope you enjoy >:D
AGAINST: Amazon
AGAINST: Amazon
The amazon is a huge forest in south america. Not only is it a forest, it is a rainforest. This of course means it rains all the time, making it a literal mudhole. Through it flows the next biggest river in the world. Seeing as it’s only the next biggest river in the world, means to me that it has failed in every level. The place sucks so badly that it can’t even get the first place for longest river. Anyways, here are some descriptions of what goes on in this hellhole they call the amazon.
The flora:
Every single tree in the amazon is an egotistical bastard. They grow so tall and wide, that they leave the smaller, younger trees in the shadow. Unable to get sunlight these small weaklings die out. This means that most of the trees in the amazon are baby killers and therefore should be burned at the stake. Also there exists the leeches known as wines. The little idiots can’t grow very tall themselves, instead, like the proletarians they are, they cling to the taller trees and sucks them dry of nutrients.
The fauna:
This is where the meat of the problem is, the idiot animals of the amazon. First off we have the jaguar, which is basically an overgrown house cat. This means that if you are lost in the amazon, the easiest way to defend yourself is to distract these stooges with a laser pointer. There is also the snakes. Why in the world don’t they have legs. What’s the point of being a long, legless reptile with heat vision? How about you just get better eyesight? These pointless long movers, slither about aimlessly in the wilderness until they, simply by luck, manage to come across something they can eat. The final thing on the list is the electric eel. These too are obviously completely useless as well. Studies show that they only have enough power to light a christmas tree. Well congratu-fucking-lations you moron, you lit a christmas tree. How about you start becoming more useful for society instead of this stoogery.
The amazons:
This is the last point of my list of reasons for why I am against the amazon as a whole. This is also where we see the biggest flaw. Now, I don’t personally know any amazons, so instead I have done my research by watching DC’s Wonder Woman. This group of women live in complete isolation to the rest of the world. They seem to be stuck in the bronze age and focus on nothing but fighting. How about you stop fighting and start specialising? This way you wouldnt be a backwards society which still worship the imbecile god of thunder; Zeus. During my research, I witnessed how german soldiers managed to wipe out almost all of the amazons, so good job with the combat training you guys. Also, there only seem to be women in this society, so reproduction seems to be impossible. It is implied that these idiots seem to live forever, yet they don’t know a damn thing about anything. Back to reproduction. I have a theory that these women work in the same manner as the clown fish. When there are no member of the group with the opposite sex, they simply change sex. Otherwise their existence doesn’t make any sense. Who else has something in common with the clownfish? Pennywise the clown, which means that the amazons and Pennywise the clown are more or less the same thing. If members of your society resemble a Stephen King antagonist, you deserve to be wiped clean off the surface of the earth.
So yes, we have to get rid of this idiotic place, and my solution is simple; Nuke them from orbit, it’s the only way to make sure.
AGAINST: Card tricks
AGAINST: Oxygen
FOR: Mobility scooters