Are the detainment teams there to detain you, or the anomaly?
If you actually find this stuff interesting look into SCPs.
Ok, but how should I pronounce TOAST? /tɪ ɔʊ ɛɪ ɛs tɪ/ or /təʊst/?
I think it’s 
︎ ⚐︎ 
︎ 
︎ ︎
TOAST Public Service Announcement 2 (10/21/2023):
TOAST FAQ
Hello, we here at TOAST know that the reveal that paranormal anomalies, shadowy para-governmental societies and eldritch gods that could snuff out all human life in mere seconds all exist has been quite a bit for the average citizen to take in.
We here at TOAST simply want you to feel safe and protected at all times, and of course to remain unquestioningly loyal to Supreme General Twain, long may he reign.
So here is a short FAQ of the top 5 most asked questions by the common citizen.
This is a recording made between 5 Citizens chosen at random and a TOAST interviewer.
Enjoy! And remember, your reality is in our hands.
Q1: How long has TOAST existed?
A1: We were founded in 1971 by then-president Richard Nixon.
At first we were only meant to do coverups for the government such as:
JFK killing himself.
The Zodiac Killer being Ellen DeGeneres.
Or how the US government once completely abolished red stop lights.
However over time we were allocated more and more power in the government, until we were ultimately able to supersede it and keep the world safer than ever before.
Q2: What does TOAST even stand for?
A2: the Totally Official Agency of Strange Things.
The fact that you were unaware of the meaning of our acronym does not bode well for your loyalty, Citizen. A TOAST auditor has been dispatched to your residence and place of work to investigate you for suspicious behavior and 500$ have been fined from your bank account.
Q3: We’re always hearing about these three fugitive guys, Zen, Philips, and Walters, But who even are they?
A3: they are three Federal fugitives that have individual bounties of 100,000,000 dollars. That is all that needs to be known of them, Citizen.
Q4: REDACTED
Q5: How long will it be until the fugitives are brought into TOAST custody? Y’know, the big three.
A5: I wouldn’t worry Citizen, they’ll be captured and brought to justice soon enough. After all, how long can they hide?
That’s that folks, another week another Public Service Announcement!
Remember to keep an eye out for any government fugitives, and always remember,
Your reality is in our hands!
Two questions;
#1 - Why was question 4 redacted? It was quite hilarious to see the ‘official’ response.
#2 - If I exposed Mark Zen’s base, can I legally change my name to Grey Woodwalker?
Don’t bother trying to trace this, I bounced it through several alternate multiverses before shadow teleporting it onto your computer screen.
Who needs Mandela Catalog when you have this
#1 Nothing has been altered in any way shape or form, citizen.
#2 If you have any evidence pertaining to the location of any fugitives then please report it to the nearest Denny’s.
If you do not, a detainment team will be dispatched to your residence and place of work to bring you in for advanced questioning.
We hope you enjoyed our 4 question FAQ citizen, and remember,
Your reality is in our hands!
Do I have to be blunt.
My name is currently Milo “Twilight” Walters. I will not go to Denny’s because they serve terrible bacon milkshakes, and any detainment team will be unable to capture me, even if they could locate me.
Do you accept my offer or not?
ALERT! ALERT!
MILO WALTERS HAS BEEN LOCATED, HE IS CURRENTLY RESIDING IN THE REDACTED, A TOAST HEAVY DETAINMENT BATTALION HAS BEEN DISPATCHED!.
U can’t even spell the name I want to change correctly.
Anyway the unit has been dispatched, look on your front lawn.
TOAST public service announcement 3:
TOASTIE AND FUGITIE
Hello there small citizens, today we will be talking about two other small citizens named Toastie and Fugitie, and what it means to be a model citizen.
So cuddle up close small citizens, and remember!
Your reality is in our hands!
Fugitie is a troublemaker, and rarely listens to authority figures.
Toastie meanwhile does what he is told by authority figures, and makes sure to tattle on troublemakers like Fugitie.
Fugitie steals candy from his guardian citizens, and always gorges himself on junk food. He will grow up to be a fat and weak citizen, and will most likely end up in a prison factory.
But Toastie makes sure to maintain a balanced diet, and would never steal from his fellow citizen. He will grow up to be a strong and proud TOAST Guardsman, and will make sure that citizens like Fugitie stay in their place.
Fugitie hides anomalies in his attic, and doesn’t report on suspicious activity.
Toastie though makes sure to keep an eye out for anomalies, and keeps his Denny’s hotline at the ready if he ever spots one.
Well, that is all for today small citizens. We here at TOAST hope that you all turn out to be Toasties, and not Fugities.
Because then you would have to suffer the consequences, and none of us want that!
So stay safe, keep a lookout for anomalies, and remember!
Your reality is in our hands!
Akismet has striked down an official TOAST PSA.
Akismet is now officially a fugitive with a bounty of 100,000 dollars, anyone who sees Askimet is to report it immediately.
Thrive community lore moment
1 Like
toast and butter and eggs
what would happen if i went back in time and destroyed every toaster that anyone would invent
do not bother tracing this i sent it from a device with no gps or ip address or anything else you could use to track me