Puns and jokes thread

the rules are simple, post some jokes and/or puns that you like, you can include as many of them as you want in your post, but don’t double post! just edit. also, no NSFW jokes!

i’ll begin:

  • knock knock, who’s there?, death, death wh- * drops dead on the floor *

  • some guy said, just before boiling water: “goodbye water, you will be mist.”

  • what’s the difference between inlaws and outlaws? the outlaws are wanted.

  • my friend said what rhymes with orange? i said no it doesn’t.

  • what is orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot.

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Hey, what’s the acronym for BiologicalThing?


Hey, what does @Omicron say about the Elders from XCOM?

“The Elders are retarded!”

What’s the synonym for the last quote of @QuantumCrab?

“Last Breath of Life”

I am not only a master of necro, but also The King of badcalls!

What do spore fans do when there’s a game that is like Spore? they Thrive!

bad joke i know…


-Knock Knock

*Who’s there?


*Doctor who?

-No, Doctor Octopus!

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Not sure whether the first one might be considered NSFW, I hope not.

  • Hey kids! What’s the difference between an orange and a human being?
    You don’t get arrested for peeling off orange skin.
  • What do aliens use to repair their spaceship?
    Abduct tape

that is okay, NSFW things include $eX, terrorism, as well as metioning that EVIL german dude with a short mustache and other similiar things.


Don’t say bad $eX word pls.


$eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX

That was a $hitpost of mine…

Take it back or I’m telling a trusted adult.

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Dragon! clap clap Dragoff!

1 Like