Puns and jokes thread

the rules are simple, post some jokes and/or puns that you like, you can include as many of them as you want in your post, but don’t double post! just edit. also, no NSFW jokes!

i’ll begin:

  • knock knock, who’s there?, death, death wh- * drops dead on the floor *

  • some guy said, just before boiling water: “goodbye water, you will be mist.”

  • what’s the difference between inlaws and outlaws? the outlaws are wanted.

  • my friend said what rhymes with orange? i said no it doesn’t.

  • what is orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot.

1 Like

Hey, what’s the acronym for BiologicalSomething?


Hey, what does Omicron say about the Elders from XCOM?

“The Elders are retarded!”

What’s the synonym for the last quote of QuantumCrab?

“Last Breath of Life”

I am not only a master of necro, but also The King of badcalls!

What do spore fans do when there’s a game that is like Spore? they Thrive!

bad joke i know…


-Knock Knock

*Who’s there?


*Doctor who?

-No, Doctor Octopus!

1 Like

Not sure whether the first one might be considered NSFW, I hope not.

  • Hey kids! What’s the difference between an orange and a human being?
    You don’t get arrested for peeling off orange skin.
  • What do aliens use to repair their spaceship?
    Abduct tape

that is okay, NSFW things include $eX, terrorism, as well as metioning that EVIL german dude with a short mustache and other similiar things.


Don’t say bad $eX word pls.


$eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX $eX

That was a $hitpost of mine…

Take it back or I’m telling a trusted adult.

1 Like

Dragon! clap clap Dragoff!

1 Like

What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?


Want me to take it back? Alright.

Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$ Xe$


happy little memories


good joke

1 Like

Please help. I’ve just paid for my meal at a Burmese restaurant but the cash register divided by zero somewhere.
It’s reading “NaaN.”


thanks for reviving this thread. i want more jokes. MORE JOKES DAM IT!