The Book of Irony (A book I want to write! Title TBD)

Hey there! I feel inspired and motivated enough to write a book, or at least, a couple of chapters. I’m thinking of a fantasy setting that doesn’t take itself too seriously, where I’m thinking the main character or at least the central character is the comic relief. Feel free to give any ideas or suggestions!

2023/02/27
Hello future readers! This story is now purged, because it was frankly cringe and dumb. Can you piece it back together through context clues? Create a thread and tag me if you think you’re up to the challenge!

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How about someone who want to help others but manage to do just about everything wrong? :slightly_smiling_face:

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Any fights should fit in an absurd amount of dialogue between blows, a la the “incredibly verbose” parody videos.

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What about a wizard who has to forget something in exchange for the power to do a spell?

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UPDATE: I didn’t get much work done because I was procrastinating very sick and didn’t have the energy to write. HOWEVER, a quick character chart has been produced with a draft of the main crew, and I have finally begun production on the first chapter. Enjoy the little content you get, this might take a while. These are all early drafts, so nothing is set in stone.

Copy paste from my google docs

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Alrighty, here’s my first draft for chapter 1.

Is it too short?
Is Harendall too verbose?

Chapter 1

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And here’s a bonus sketch of Harendall

"Harendall"

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I really like it, but what I would at least try would be to be a little more descriptive. I found myself reading a little faster than I would have liked and filling the space with some nice descriptions would go nicely I’d expect.

Edit: is it alright with you if I do my own fan art of Harendall?

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Go ahead! I’ll try to be more descriptive in the next chapter, but thanks for the feedback.

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I quite liked the first chapter, there were many moments that made be exhale audibly through my nose

However, there are a few things I would change. Firstly, I feel like Harendall losing his verbosity around his cat was a little strange, as if he lost an important character attribute. That being said, when he is verbose, maybe tone it down a little. Remember that you are trying to appeal to teenage-ish people.

Additionally, I noticed that the plot progresses rather quickly, with a very fast pace. At certain points it felt a bit ‘clunky’. Like the spherical object of magic imprinted with the number 8 of the variety ‘04’ mentioned above, some more in-depth descriptions would be nice.

Lastly, many of the dialogue sentences follow a similar pattern:
"Dialogue", said the character.
While you have found alternative words for ‘said’, many of these talking segments follow the same structure, what is being said followed by who said it. A nit-pick, I know, but it helps with cohesion. For example, I would re-write this sections:

Original

“Dinkums, you sure blurt out a lot of nonsense for a creepy gravekeeper. Go bother someone else.” Snapped Jordan before the gravekeeper could go on any further. “But young lad, you are the only human being capable of withstanding the pressure of the adventure I am offering you.” Replied the gravekeeper.

Like this:

Rewritten

“Dinkums, you sure blurt out a lot of nonsense for a creepy gravekeeper. Go bother someone else.” Snapped Jordan before the crazy old man could go on any further. The Gravekeeper grew frustrated. “But young lad, you are the only human being capable of withstanding the pressure of the adventure I am offering you.”

If you could tie in more elements of cohesion and what-not, I’m convinced that this could turn into an extremely solid novel. Good work, I look forward to chapter 2!

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Watch who you’re callin a sphere, Schrödinger’s crustacean

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Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Should I:

  • Polish the first chapter
  • Write the second chapter

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Alright, I’ll polish the first chapter then. Patience, my lads. Jordan’s adventure will advance soon!

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OK, chapter 1 polished in accordance with your critiques! How do you like it?
All it cost was my Spiderman 1 joke.

Chapter 1

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Here’s chapter 2! Sorry it’s a little shorter, but I was busy with school. To make up for it, here’s some bonus concept art.

Chapter 2

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Mandaloid

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Also, do any of you have an idea for the book title?

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Any criticism, or should I move on to chapter 3?

I must say, this is looking to be pretty good novel! But be careful, here you’ve broken out of third person. Also, there are points in the dialogue where you accidentally skip the odd quotation mark. Aside from that, good job.

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Chapter 3 is up now. I tried using a different format to try to ease up the brick paragraphs, does it work well?

Chapter 3

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I’m sorry, but one month without someone draining my boredom with a sarcastic and yet wonderful chapter will not do. Good sir, this is nothing short of an outrage. I threaten to shower you with a gift basket filled with assorted praise, complaints that chapter 4 isn’t out, and croissants . You have one week. Do not disappoint me.

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I’m sorry it’s been a while since I posted another chapter. I was hit with writer’s block, so I kind of pushed it aside for a while. Then, I guess I never really got back to it. But your comment is a good excuse if any to get me back into the spirit. Chapter 4 awaits!

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Chapter 4, as promised.

Chapter 4

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Comments, criticism?

I still need to find a title for the book.

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