The new joke achievement thread

only if you don’t know how to make a single cell have a circulatory system. due to the laws of physics and biology if it is possible for multicellular organisms it is possible but harder for a unicellular organism

explain how you would do this with organells.

for a single cell to have a circulatory system all you would need is the machinery from a cardiac muscle cell, a large vacuole the size of a heart with at least two tubes and at least one valve, the tubes would connect to eachother to complete the loop and allow circulation and be strengthened with proteins to handle high pressures, for specialization they would need several lipid bilayer membranes in them with various different properties for different purposes, for nerves they would just need prokaryotes with the ability to stretch but not split and not grow past a certain point as well as chemoreception and action potential lines.

Few things:

  1. How would they be able to take in the air at a fast enough rate to stay alive.
  2. How and why would this even evolve.

Also, for it to work, it would need countless of the cardiac organells, effectively taking up too much space.

Kubrick’s approval: go to a developing planet and put some monoliths on the surface

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the same way multicellular organisms do, it would actually need less surface area dedicated to gas transfer than a multicellular organism due to it’s decreased membrane upkeep cost due to no quadruple lipid barriers between areas of specialization

1: a material harmful only to binding agents being in all of the water(most likely due to a xenophobic civilization dumping nanites that have the purpose of preventing intelligent life in every body of water and on the land)
2: giant cells engulfing all your cells and preventing you from getting to multicellular by eating all your binded cells before you can reach 5
3: the player trying to give themselves a challenge
4: the player trying to evolve to spacefaring again after descending but less than half of their population ascended before the ascension gate was destroyed but their civilization was extremely xenophobic and prevented multicellular life in the same way as i explained in reason one.

if that was true it would be the same for multicellular organisms and the myofibril would have one sarcoplasmic reticulum per chamber with one membrane of sarcolemma surrounding each chamber and pacemaker cells in the chambers. this would be even more compact than a multicellular heart due to 0 octuple lipid membranes and could have the neural prokaryotes in it to propagate signals to the optimal locations in the sarcoplasmic reticulum and it would have less energy requirements than a multicellular lizard due to the square cube law

Why?
Discover shrink ray tech and relocate your civ into one of your own species.

Why!?
Invent FTL then use it to stuff a sword down everyone’s throats after turning your star into a black hole

WHY!?
Prank another species by turning them into cats and sending them to Mars.

It doesn’t matter if it’s possible - this is the joke achievement thread anyway

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i forgor :skull:

Its not a burning memory anymore- Cure alzheimers disease, and increase the intelligence of your species by tenfold

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i forgor :skull:: get hit on the head by a rock and lose all of your research because you didn’t write it down

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i just reread this and. it would only need one as the organelle would be large enough to have enough strength to circulate blood through a whole lizard of it’s size.


OWO, What’s this?: make a technological god of knowledge named OWO and ask it what something is

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Still, it most likely will not be possible to evolve in-game, mainly because you need multiple cells to progress through stages.

says who? you could just progress to the multicellular stage and not become multiple cells and instead get multiple nuclei

just because you can progress to multicellular stage because of binding agents doesn’t mean its guaranteed that a planned feature will be implemented where you wont need to actually be multicellular to get to aware stage.

if it is scientifically proven to be possible it is almost guaranteed to be in the game by 9.0.0 because that will be after the ascension stage is fully made and by that time the devs will probably have enough donations to hire full time coders and designers

ah yes, if single cellular lizards made of a thin glass layer and cytoplasm prove to be possible…
then again, this IS a joke achievement thread, soo…

they are possible and i have all the information to prove it. the only factors preventing it are the fact that no currently existing polynucleate has myofibril if you don’t count cells of multicellular organisms and the fact that no prokaryotes can stretch to the limits needed for an efficient nerve and no polynucleates have turned a geobacter metallireductens specimen into a neuron. so put the information for myobibril and all you need to control and use it in a polynucleate, make a species of geobacter that acts like a neuron but uses patterns instead of neurotransmitters for data transfer along their axons based off of geobacter metallireductens, place one into the polynucleate, and wait. but they could also just evolve the neurons themselves from a vacuole or a prokaryote that was in it.(most large polynucleates have plenty of bacteria in them but they are all ones that either just don’t harm it or are beneficial to it because they have immune systems.)

TLDR: give me the tools to modify genes and the knowledge of how to read genes and i will make it IRL with just those, some pond water, some of my skin cells, and a lot of time.

You literally can’t prove anything.

This still would just show that it is possible to do artificially (which is impossible to do either way), but it clearly is impossible in nature throught means of evolution.

it is pretty easily possible if you populate a sterile planet with just diatoms.
anyways, as this is the joke achievements thread, no more science talk.