Hey what age? Iâve never gone past age 0, but Iâm getting close to the totem rituals.
After some research, I came to these conclusions:
The image was corrupted by some .zip file
The most corrupt country is Somalia, which is in Africa, which we already know has some connection with the banana cult.
When looking at mosques in Somali cities, I noticed that that the name of almost all begins with MA.
Suspicious, isnât it?
Also, I found a place called âTomb of the Unknown Soldierâ Does that remind you of anyone? Exactly. Itâs That Guy.
I need to put all the pieces together now, Banana, MA, that guyâŠ
So while I was admiring the view of Saturn, while petting my domesticated red panda (Dogs were almost extinct in the future, we needed a new pet) When I had an epiphany.
That guy was actually the first human on Earth. He was called Ma. he was also the first human to eat a banana, which at the time gave immortality to those who ate it. He created the banana cult, which aimed to make bananas acquire sentience. now they they got her to hack computers, changing the names of mosques in Somalia, Maâs home, to their creatorâs name. Banana is also trying to hack all Thrive pfps, creating for this the Church Of The Thrive community, a front for a group of hackers who help the sentient banana. They asked the dolphins for help as they turn the pfp into letters which makes them easier to hack, all to complete the ultimate banana plan, TRANSFORM THE WHOLE UNIVERSE INTO BANANAS!
Oh! Right now im in age 3, im just starting electricity, and heres a tip: Once you get to age 1, get tinkers construct tools and stuff! they are really good! I have a sword that does likeâŠ10 dmg per hit and gets more dmg from losing durability.
I live right next to an ice spikes biome next to a river 
if ya have any troubles in sevtech, you can simply send me a pm.
Yay! Heâs back! Well and visible!
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The big D is high and visible
Lets hope it doesnât infect anyone elseâŠ
donât worry everyone, positive tower was already infected and has become non-contagious.
U know want?
unbig my D
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Haha doomlightning has a small d
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theres a joke to make here.
but i wont do itâŠ
im better then thatâŠ
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Mini-case 4, i think
Why is the multicellular stage so strange?
Phew, I managed to escape fralegendâs prison, unfortunately, he brainwashed me and I still have the problem of waking up every day in maid clothes, I think itâs sleepwalking. Anyway, in case youâve noticed, the new image of the multi-cell stage isâŠweird. Some say itâs a skinless hand, others just an innocent amogus. But Detective Trappist (IS IT TRAPPIST ZENZONE! WHATâS THE DIFFICULTY? IâTâS NOT MY FAULT THAT MY PARENTS CONFUSED AND NOW THE PLANET HAS MY NAME AND I GOT THE PLANETâS NAME!) is not convinced of the obvious.
To seek answers, I went to Earth to speak with Carl Segan. Yes that Carl Segan. Itâs a confusing story involving an alien species visiting the solar system, an overloaded rocket and a wormhole, but thatâs another story, for another day. Anyway, he told me there was only one thing that image could mean: All tomorrows. Yes, the book with strange human futures. If you look closely youâll see that the âhandâ is actually a skinless version of the one shown in the book, of a species Iâve forgotten the name of, so Iâm going to call it âFuture Furriesâ anyway, in the book there are another species that is basically a dolphin, and PLUS, it has an underwater civilization.
âUmmm.â I said, while having a cup of tea with our friend Carl. After that I went home. We had a lot of leads, we just needed to piece them together.
While playing Solarpunk 2277 - listening to Germanyâs 1984 national anthem, I had an epiphany. Burgeon wrote All Tomorrows, to publicize the idea of ââan underwater civilization, and after it was blocked, he kidnapped the developers and forced them to put subliminal messages in the progress updates, to make the only person who could stop him, Deathwake, change. idea, then he could finally rule the world. I quickly grabbed my imagination ship (Carl Segan lent it to me) and headed to Zyxia.
Zyxia is a strange country. There, people speak strangely, eat strange foods, and have a long and complex history of rivalry with another nation.
Yes, they are descendants of the British.
Anyway, they have a portal to the past, so I went in there and went to Africa, because if anyone could be involved in this, it was the sentient Banana. I got there and my red panda said (I gave him a speech translator)
"Well, well, what do we have here, letâs go banana, tell us everything, where are the developers?"
To be continuedâŠ
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Before the epic conclusion of mini-case 4 (I think) Iâm going to give you a âbriefâ introduction to the world in the 23rd century, for reasons:
-Because I want
-Because I want
-Because youâll like it.
Lets start. In the late 2020s, the UK is taken over by a revolutionary force, which basically, emerged during the English revolution, fled into the forests and developed advanced technology on its own, only appearing to take over the UK, renamed Vinlasia. Meanwhile, in Russia, another group, apparently ruled by a guy named Choloc, gains independence, calling itself the Schalozoica. A nuclear war ensues between these two, which resets civilization. A lot happens, for example, a country called Haluria (Descendants of the Ukrainians) arrives on Mars and establishes colonies there, a New Vinlasia is founded in Greenland and several other countries pop up around the world, including the Schalozoica, which is now a world power. A war takes place between the United Nations of Earth (Schacolozoica + another country where China is) and Valkiria, a superpower of the Americas. UNE wins the war, literally uniting the world, around 2110. Unfortunately, a civil war known as âThe Resurgenceâ resets civilization once more.
Meanwhile on Mars, after gaining independence, Valan turned turned to asteroid mining
It was just a few steps for them to achieve A BELGIUM UTOPIA
Seeing that the Earth was⊠How can I say⊠RUINED, the scientists of Valan decided to âTerraform the Earthâ And so they did, and established some colonies there in what is now New Zealand.
Several interesting countries have emerged, for example United Penguins Commonwealth Formed by super-intelligent penguins (An experiment gone wrong) in Antarctica. Another country is Itaderkih, which as it was in Patagonia, had little food, so it hunted normal penguins. A controversy arose over a meme (Yes, a meme) that showed that penguins were overhunted, which indirectly led to the release of a virus, known as (Sorry) Sars-Sus-45, which annihilated Itaderkih, but the survivors fled to Asia, where they went to destroyed again by a neighboring country, and finally settling in Valan, getting independence quickly because they wanted to go to wars, but valan is more neutral than switzerland.
This all brings us to the scientific colony of Iapetus, as the Valanians love to go into space.
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Am confuse what is the case though?
Itâs not one, itâs just background info
Finally⊠Hereâs the epic conclusion to mini-case 4!
âI do not know what youâre talking aboutâ
âAdmit you banana belgium. SPEAK THE TRUTH NOW YOU BELGIANâ
âCalm down pleaseâ I said
âDONâT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I NEED ANSWERS!! TELL THE TRUTH YOU BELGIAN!â
I knew I shouldnât have let Zenzone take care of him that day.
âOkay, okay, I have nothing to do with this, but I know the location of his secret base. That idiot⊠Iâm going to take over the world, not him.â
âAnd you Belgian banana, you wonât be unharmedâ
grunts of agony
âFinished?â
âWait Chews yes, Iâm done.â
âPerfect letâs go, we have to stop that dolphin.â
After we went to the secret location (The Bikini Atoll) Me and my panda dived and saw a port in the sea. Suddenly we hear something âWhy am I listening to boss music?â I open the door and find A huge dolphin, so big it made any subnautica creature look like a tiny aquarium fish âSO YOU ARE THE FAMOUS DETECTIVE ZENZONE?â
âActually, Iâm his assistantâ
âAnd femboyâ
complements my panda, giving a little troll smile.
âAnyway, weâre here to defeat you, Burgeon.â âHAHAHAHAHA YOU WOULDNâT DEFEAT ME EVEN IF I LET YOU! THE DEVELOPERS WILL BE MINE FOREVER MUAHAHAHAHâ
âItâs so check this out presses a controlâ At that moment, thousands of aliens land their ships in the ocean, all carrying electromagnetic weapons.
"Xlioros, Ga Nark! (Guys, to the attack!)
"They fire several laser guns at burgeon, which shakes but remains steady. âDo you think you can beat me with this? This is nothing. START ATTACK!â
Burgeon summons thousands of robots, made in the hydrothermal forges, and they are much more powerful than the aliens. Within minutes of battle, almost all the aliens died or gave up. Hope was lost.
.
Until, from the skies, a figure crosses the water as if not touching it, positioning itself in front of the burgeon. It was Deathwake. âSO, DID MY MESSAGES WORK? DO YOU WANT UNDERWATER CIV NOW?â
âNope. Iâm actually here to beat you.â
She starts talking. Its sound waves become a powerful beam of light that hits burgeon.
âIt canât be⊠Sheâs using good arguments! NOOOOOOOOOOâ
He is reduced to dust.
She gives a closing argument, which is so powerful that it creates a nuclear explosion. I was thankfully unaffected. I have cancer resistance, plus robots donât get cancer. "Thanks deathwake, if it werenât for you, that freak would have ended my career.
âYouâre welcome. I have to go now, Iâm going to play subnauticaâ
âByeâ
This is the end of the amazing âminiâ case 4!
OR NOT?
Mini-case 4:
WHY IS TOM CRUISE SO YOUNG LOOKING?
Tom Cruise, famed star of the movie Legend (1985), has recently turned 60.
This would be all well and good if it were not for one fact.
He doesnât look 60, he looks 20, 20!
How can this be? How can someone who is 60 years old look 40 years younger?
This was the question that propelled me to do some investigating, and what I found shocked me.
Tom Cruise isnât actually 60, heâs 1,000,000 years old!
I then sleuthed a bit further, mainly through having Greenwings interrogate several dozen of his celebrity friends and collect DNA sample of Tom Cruise, and when we had the DNA fully mapped out we discovered something shocking.
For 8,000 years Tom Cruise has walked amongst us, manipulating and controlling entire countries, even the world.
Remember That Guy that invented the wheel? He was actually Tom Cruise.
Remember Julius Ceaser? He was actually Tom Cruise.
Remember the entirety of WW1? Literally everyone that was involved in the war was Tom Cruise.
Heâs been doing this ever since his spaceship crashed down on earth (because he is an alien).
This is why we must revolt against the world emperor of the entire world (Tom Cruise, havenât you been listening?) by going to watch the new movie Top Gun: Maverick, in which the main character is played by Tom Cruise but Tom Cruise is actually played by Chris Pratt (who used to be Tom Cruiseâs partner on the ship (it was a space fishing boat) until he realized that Tom Cruise was evil and that he had to do something about it).
Case 17:
This case has been sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends, thank you to Raid Shadow legends for sponsoring this Case file.
WHY HAS THRIVE NOT YET BEEN SPONSERED BY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS?
Everyone knows how Raid Shadow Legends sponsors everything and everyone, from youtubers to news outlets to the US government, itâs all being subsisted on Raid Shadow Legendsâ money.
Why then has thrive not yet been sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends? Is it simply because that they donât know what thrive is? Or donât want to sponsor them?
Impossible, everyone knows that Raid Shadow Legends Man, the leader of the Raid Shadow Legends Company loves thrive, itâs his favorite thing in the world right after seeing his game absolutely everywhere.
So why then has it not yet been sponsored? Iâll tell you why!
Elon Musk, a well known Raid Shadow Legends hater, has paid off the underground lizard people to pay off the lizardman faction in game to steer Raid Shadow Legends Man away from having thrive sponsor Raid Shadow Legends.
This is why thrive has not yet been sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends, and why we must stop Elon Musk from completing this nefarious scheme by sacrificing 5 catgirls on mars to permanently stop Raid Shadow Legends Man from having thrive sponsor Raid Shadow Legends.
Raid Shadow Legends gamers, unite!
Steal Jeff Bezosâ rocket jet and stop Elon Musk! Who is currently being possessed by George Washington the entire time and is why he hates Raid Shadow Legends because George Washington hated Raid Shadow Legends.
Except that he actually loved Raid Shadow Legends and he has been possessed by the ghost of Napoleon Bonaparte to hate Raid Shadow Legends.
Except that he actually loved Raid Shadow Legends as well and he has been possessed by the ghost of Sun Tzu to hate Raid Shadow Legends
Except that he actually loved Raid Shadow Legends as well and he has been possessed by the ghost of The Ghost Of Christmas paste to hate Raid Shadow Legends
Except that he actually loved Raid Shadow Legends as well and he has been possessed by the ghost of Jeff Bezos from the future to hate Raid Shadow Legends
Except that he actually loved Raid Shadow Legends as well and he has been possessed by the ghost of Raid Shadow Legends Man to hate Raid Shadow Legends
Thatâs right, he was behind it the entire time.
He doesnât actually love Thrive, he doesnât even love Raid Shadow Legends! Which is why he possessed the ghost of Jeff Bezos to posses the ghost of The Ghost Of Christmas Past to possess the ghost of Sun Tzu to possess the ghost of Napoleon Bonaparte to possess the ghost of George Washington to possess Elon Musk!
Also Raid Shadow Legends Man stabbed a puppy once.
It all makes sense, trust me.
This is why we must boycott Raid Shadow Legends! To stop it from ever doing something like this ever again!
Gamers, unite!
Thank you to Raid Shadow Legends for sponsoring this Case File.
Is it just me or Zenzone is slowly losing mental health every time he posts a case
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yeah he just started ranting about Elon musk being possessed by Napoleon Bonaparte who then goes on to have a whole list of a possessing chain, at this point I think Zenzone has lost it at this point.