You crash and burn.
Today is just not your day.
You know own a gun.
You’re in Singapore
Today is just not your day
You become a pumpkin made out of mechanical parts
You are just fine.
Today is your day.
You become a country ball.
you have no arms or legs so you have to jump to move
Today is just not your day
You drink a “Cup of Joe”
It is actually filled with Joe so you die of being over fed.
Today is just not your day.
You farm some plants.
one of them is a mutant plant that bites your head off when you try to pull it out of the ground.
today is just not your day.
you try to get superpowers.
Finally, this thread is revived. now I can finally increase my artificial post count now I can finally have something to do!
You get a power that instantly kills you.
Today is simply not your day.
You read something.
you read the most horrible book in the universe.
today is just not your day.
you attend a party at a friends house.
Someone smashes cake on your face, you get drunk, and go to the road which then a car runs over you and you die an agonizing death.
Today is not your day.
You gain a second chance at life after those events.
you decide to go back into the party.
the events repeat.
today is just not your day.
you hold a staring contest with a mirror.
You lose the staring contest and your reflection wins.
Today is not your day.
You decide to go swimming.
you are attacked by sharks.
today is just not your day.
you roll around in toxic waste to get superpowers.
You don’t get superpowers but rather you become an inhuman monster that can only survive off of atomic waste. You are forced to live forever in agony.
Today is not your day.
You go outside.
you are struck by a meteor.
today is just not your day.
after being cured you decide to through a spider in the nuclear waste this time and try to get it to bite you.
Instead of becoming a spider man you are now a man spider. You are now human sized, but you gain the form of a spider.
Today is kind of your day?
You eat some cereal.
you choke on a cheerio.
you’d think the air would go right through the little hole, but it didn’t.
you died.
today is just not your day.
using your big brain and your new spider powers you kidnap all of the nearby zoo’s animals and chuck them into the toxic waste with you in an attempt to become human again.
Believe it or not, it actually worked.
Today is certainly your day.
You are a rat that lives in the sewers.
you are eaten by a spider monster on his way to the zoo.
today is just not your day.
now that you are human again you submit your amazing findings to the scientific community.
they think you are some crazy idiot
today is just not your day
you are LUCA (i dont have to explain what LUCA is do i?)
you go extinct before you can evolve.
today is certainly not your species’ day.
in rage at the scientific community you drive back to that nuclear facility (that has very poor security) and jump back into the toxic waste while holding a spider to mutate into a horrible abomination and take over the world.