The delusional ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic 🍌

Man-Man 1

The Chronicles of MAN-MAN! Issue 1:

MAN-MAN, AND THE DEMONICALLY DEVIOUS DIVERSIONS OF THE DENIM DEVIL!

By day, John Doe is but a regular accountant for his company, but by night he becomes Man-Man!

Bitten by a radioactive man and given man-based superpowers such as:

A dad bod!

The ability to open jars!

And male pattern baldness!

Now he is the protector of Shelbyville Canada, hiding his secret civilian identity with a simple pair of glasses!

Recently there has been a string of robberies at clothing factories and stores, leaving them bereft of all of their denim!

But Man-Man is on the case to find out who is the perpetrator of these heinous crimes, and bring them to justice!!!


Gap, Shelbyville Canada:

It was a normal day at Gap, which meant that people were wandering about the store mindlessly filming themselves for their ‘grams’.

However, there was one person who was not filming himself for his ‘gram’ despite the overwhelming urge to do so…

This was because he was here for one thing and one thing only.

“GIMME ALL YOUR DENIM!” The man yelled at the top of his lungs, ripping off his tank top and shorts to reveal an odd costume made entirely out of denim.

He raised his hand and magically made all of the denim inside of the store come to life and levitate around him in a massive maelstrom of denim and magic energies.

The people paid no attention to this, far too preoccupied with their ‘grams’.

The man pointed at a wall and used his accumulated denim to blast through it and onto the streets.

Cars swerved away from the odd denim storm spilling out of the Gap, and nearby pedestrians cowered in fear. The man made a small denim platform beneath his feet and levitated into the sky, laughing maniacally.

“Hahahahaha! Yes! Cower before your new master! The Denim Devil!”


Shelbyville Police Department, Shelbyville Canada:

The chief of police was doing a ‘gram’ of him doing his paperwork when suddenly his intern burst through the doors.

“Chief O’Hara! A denim-wearing supervillain has just stolen all of the denim in the city and has made a massive denim hurricane!”

Chief O’Hara did not glance away from his ‘gram’ “Just activate the Man-Man signal Sarah! He’ll handle it. Anyways I like to let prisoners go so me and the boys can use it as a disco room and…” he continued to record his ‘gram’.

Sarah ran up the stairs and flipped the Man-Man symbol on, projecting a massive necktie onto the cloudy night which was there the entire time.

“You called?” a voice said behind Sarah making her turn around.

Behind her stood the hero of Shelbyville, Man-Man, in all his middle-aged glory.

Sarah quickly began to fill Man-Man in on the situation, “There’s a madman destroying the city, I saw it all on someone’s ‘gram’.”

Man-Man put a hand up to his cleanly shaven chin, “The Denim Devil, my old nemesis… well don’t worry miss, I’ll have that problem sorted out in 2-3 working days.”


2-3 working days later, downtown, Shelbyville Canada:

The Denim Devil had, at this point, completely taken over the entirety of downtown Shelbyville, enforcing his cruel will on the populous through his denim golems.

Buildings burned, corpses lied in the streets, and the few that remained were all enslaved in denim factories…

They didn’t mind much though, their ‘grams’ were still far more important than their enslavement of the death of their family members.

And the orchestrator of this madness currently sat on his throne of denim, madly cackling at his success “Yes! From here I shall build an army of denim warriors and take over the entire world!”

“Not so… not so fast Denim Devil!” Man-Man walked into The Denim Devil’s throne room, he was huffing and puffing after walking up the 3 steps in front of The Denim Devil’s palace.

The Denim Devil frowned, “And who might you be office worker?”

“I am not Office-Worker, I am Man-Man, protector of Shelbyville!” Man-Man’s balding hair blew in the breeze.

“Fhm, a superhero? Hehehe, and just what are your powers ‘Man-Man’?” The Denim Devil rested his head on his hand.

Man-Man only smirked as he reached towards his utility belt, pulling out a jar.

Denim Devil’s eyebrow rose.

Man-Man’s hand grabbed the jar’s lid.

Denim Devil’s eyes widened.

Man-Man twisted the lid.

Denim Devil screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Before the jar in Man-Man’s hands opened with a pop, and Denim Devil was defeated.

The end.

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER?

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER?:

My eyes darted all around me as I ran down the halls, he could be anywhere.

It had all started off great, Hyrianlinaiean had sent off a group of forum users, including me, to mine Thrivium in order to help complete thrive.

But what we hadn’t known, was that there was an imposter Among Us.

There were 9 of us, Deathwake, Zenzone, Twilight, Nigel, Nover, Trappist, Evo, Pewdiepie and me, but now only him and I remain.

I still remembered my crewmates’ excitement at the beginning…

“These environmental suits are great, very warm, I wish they had arms though…”

Trappist… you were too pure for this world…

That excitement was dashed when we found Zen’s body stuffed in the vents, his throat slit.

Accusations were thrown out immediately, and the crew ultimately decided that Nover was guilty. We threw her out of the airlock and into the cold ravages of the internet, where she almost immediately was sliced in half by a video of kittens playing piano.

But the murders didn’t stop.

I was fixing some burned out wiring when I saw Evo hung from the ceiling by a spike through his visor. I quickly reported the body and we once again turned on one of our own crewmates, this time it was Twilight…

I didn’t see what happened to him out there, but I later heard from Nigel that he was eaten by baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo.

It wasn’t even 2 minutes into our mission, and we were already down 4 crewmembers.

Teaking went down to communications in an attempt to report to command, but we never saw him again.

What we did see was Trappist laying on the ground, his head two feet away from the rest of his body.

It was only Nigel, me, and Pewdiepie left, and in a panic Nigel decided to vote off Pewdiepie.

I did as well.

I could hear Pewdiepie’s screams through the internet-ship’s hull as I turned to Nigel.

I grinned.

There was only one left.

3 Likes

Nigel Nigel Nigel…

Obviously it was a juvenile shark, not a baby shark. I left a functioning space suit within it before I entered the ship (not that I needed it, being made of shadows.)

Now the real question is who was left with Nigel. Doom? Null? Aah? QuantumCrab? Corpse? Sigils? Dream? Mr. Beast? All famous lovers of thrive who could be likely subjects to be corrupted into an imposter by an evil virus invented by that one guy that zen always talks about how much their ghost hates thrive (I’m blanking on their name lol)

THE HORRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO A BLONDE WOMAN ON FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH WHILE LIVING INSIDE OF A HAUNTED ABANDONED MENTAL ASYLUM/CIRCUS/MORGUE/DUNGEON THAT WAS BUILT ON AN INDIAN BURIAL SITE AND WAS ONCE OWNED BY A SERIAL KILLING CULT OF SATANISTS AND ALSO JEFFREY EPSTEIN

THE HORRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO A BLONDE WOMAN ON FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH WHILE LIVING INSIDE OF A HAUNTED ABANDONED MENTAL ASYLUM/CIRCUS/MORGUE/DUNGEON THAT WAS BUILT ON AN INDIAN BURIAL SITE AND WAS ONCE OWNED BY A SERIAL KILLING CULT OF SATANISTS AND ALSO JEFFREY EPSTEIN

A woman walked up to the haunted abandoned mental asylum/circus/morgue/dungeon that she had been living in for the past several years.

Everybody in the town said that it was a bad idea to live in the local haunted abandoned mental asylum/circus/morgue/dungeon, but the woman didn’t care, after all she had extensive debts to both the Italian, Irish, Russian, and Israeli mafias all at the same time, and it was a good place to hide out from all of the serial killer stalkers that were constantly following her.

It was currently raining heavily, and she could barely see a few feet in front of her, so she quickly ran towards the front doors of the haunted abandoned mental asylum/circus/morgue/dungeon and went inside.

The doors slammed shut behind her and automatically locked themselves, she didn’t know how they did that but they always unlocked at sunrise.

The woman was very thirsty and so she headed to the kitchen to grab a can of water, but when she touched the doorknob she noticed that it was covered in some liquid. She looked down; it was blood.

The haunted abandoned mental asylum/circus/morgue/dungeon did that sometimes. She didn’t really understand how that worked either, but she didn’t really care, at least while the walls were bleeding she couldn’t hear the heavy breathing coming from behind her shoulder.

She opened the fridge and looked over it’s contents. For some reason all of the meat she bought would turn into human hands or heads whenever she looked away, but she was too thirsty to care so she just grabbed the can of liquid death, her favorite water brand.

While she drunk from the can she looked out of the broken window to see that man who always stood out in the forests surrounding the haunted abandoned mental asylum/circus/morgue/dungeon, she didn’t know who he was but he always wore a very nice suit.

She didn’t know who he was as she could never quite make out any facial features, but she appreciated that he found her attractive enough to stand in the middle of the forest during a thunderstorm just to stare at her creepily.

It was late and so she decided to go to sleep. She exited the kitchen and walked up the stairs, each board giving off a nauseating moan of pain as she stepped on them.

She felt a sudden chill as she walked through the maze-like hallways but she wasn’t surprised, this building seemed to have a lot of cold spots.

She took a shower, and as usual the water would sometimes change to blood as she was showering, it was pretty annoying but easy to wash off when it eventually turned back to water so she didn’t really mind much.

She put on her nightgown and finally crawled onto her oddly large bed, it almost seemed like she could never reach the center of it no matter how far she crawled.

She ignored the closet, she was too tired to get up and the very heavy breathing coming from it was probably just her imagination anyways.

She closed her eyes and slowly lost consciousness, resting for her next day of working as a drunken chainsaw juggler for the toxic waste management and disposal facility.

4 Likes

So this is every horror movie trope rolled into one, but the main character isn’t afraid. I love it. Someone should make a movie out of it.

1 Like
DETECTIVE-MAN 3

I stumbled towards the mirror as my innards churned, my skin was still covered in it, covered in the banana.

I needed to get it off…

I flexed my hands and grabbed my head pulling and pulling as the odd yellow goop stretched, but I lost my grip and it snapped back into position, healing instantly.

I grabbed again at my face and began to pull, but while I was struggling I lost my balance and bumped into the church bell that I keep in my room.

The banana suit let out a bloodcurdling screech as it was destabilized, and I realized what I had to do.

Down below the vents Teaking looked up at a vent nearby as the screech vibrated through it, “What was that?”

Meanwhile I was succeeding in tearing the suit off of me, my face was now free of it.

I felt it clamp down on my body as it tried to fight me, probably wanted to constrict my breathing until I passed out, I couldn’t let it do that.

I pulled and ripped at the suit, and it finally snapped off my torso. I gasped as I was able to breath again.

As I was fighting the suit Teaking was peering up a vent, looking directly at me, “Zen?”

A drop of yellow goop hit his tea-styled jacket and he quickly took it off and threw it to the side.

The suit tried desperately to reweave itself over me, but I slammed my fist down on the ground and it seemed to start giving up. It flowed down a nearby vent grate, and, unbeknownst to me, towards Teaking.

The slimy yellow substance seeped through the grate, and grabbed Teaking’s arm before he could run away. He was pulled towards the vent and covered in the substance, slowly weaving itself into a monstrous mimicry of my detective’s outfit.

It completely covered him and transformed into a suit, and it had completely taken over Teaking’s mind…

Meanwhile up in my room I had just finished getting the evil banana goop off of me, and decided it was time for some cereal.

W̴̧̻͔̠̮̮̙̗̮̲̫͚͋̅̂̏̍̐ͅE̵̢̧̧̘̥̦̻̹͔͚͉͍̦̣͑ͅ ̸̟̩̬͕̖̺̙̜̮̰͖͉̮̤̾͑̃̓̿̕Â̴̧̰̳̞̼͔̓̇̍̏́̄̒̋̚͘͠͝Ŗ̴̨̡̭̘̖͍͂͒̿͌͋̐̊̾͆̈̕E̶̡̡̛̜͕̤̹̱̲̩͉̰̺̝̺̬͐̇̋̐̌͑ ̴̝̦̬͉̘̳̒̔̿́̀̿̆͑B̶̤̮̗͐̇͌͂̽̈́̓̆͒̕A̵̬̼̤̣͛͛ͅN̸̙̟͍̮̝̺̬͎̞͚̙̼̈̚ͅẲ̴̧͓̘͕͙͚̩̪̲̲̪͓̫̪͘ͅN̷͕͔̲͎͖̠̥̳̗̺̖̫̺̿̊͗͝Ǎ̵̢̨̢͎͖̞̣̹̘̝̭̝̙̍̊̍̽͝͝ͅ

3 Likes

WHY IS THERE A JACK BOND WANNABE INSTEAD OF ZENZONE

Avert your eyes! Or don’t, and look on in terror as I expand my influence into yet another medium.
COMICS

1 Like


Don’t you know that the most dangerous thing in the world is Stussy S?
And yes, I am a better artist than Michelangelo, like that turtle knows a thing about art…


THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY COMIC

1 Like

The artistic evolution between the two comics is impressive.

Three more comics and the art will be above the works of da vinci

1 Like

artistic evolution? what artistic evolution?

2 Likes

Sans and Lenin had a son, but he was born too premature

1 Like


aw what a cute cat

2 Likes

what is this thread about???

look at the title

still, this is random jumbly stuff, I have no idea what the core idea of this is

^

It’s like a crazy ‘thrive forums lore’ thing

If it was anybody but zenzone it would be considered spam/crapposting

1 Like

yeah, only i can make it work

1 Like