The delusional ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic 🍌

Man-Man 1

The Chronicles of MAN-MAN! Issue 1:

MAN-MAN, AND THE DEMONICALLY DEVIOUS DIVERSIONS OF THE DENIM DEVIL!

By day, John Doe is but a regular accountant for his company, but by night he becomes Man-Man!

Bitten by a radioactive man and given man-based superpowers such as:

A dad bod!

The ability to open jars!

And male pattern baldness!

Now he is the protector of Shelbyville Canada, hiding his secret civilian identity with a simple pair of glasses!

Recently there has been a string of robberies at clothing factories and stores, leaving them bereft of all of their denim!

But Man-Man is on the case to find out who is the perpetrator of these heinous crimes, and bring them to justice!!!


Gap, Shelbyville Canada:

It was a normal day at Gap, which meant that people were wandering about the store mindlessly filming themselves for their ‘grams’.

However, there was one person who was not filming himself for his ‘gram’ despite the overwhelming urge to do so…

This was because he was here for one thing and one thing only.

“GIMME ALL YOUR DENIM!” The man yelled at the top of his lungs, ripping off his tank top and shorts to reveal an odd costume made entirely out of denim.

He raised his hand and magically made all of the denim inside of the store come to life and levitate around him in a massive maelstrom of denim and magic energies.

The people paid no attention to this, far too preoccupied with their ‘grams’.

The man pointed at a wall and used his accumulated denim to blast through it and onto the streets.

Cars swerved away from the odd denim storm spilling out of the Gap, and nearby pedestrians cowered in fear. The man made a small denim platform beneath his feet and levitated into the sky, laughing maniacally.

“Hahahahaha! Yes! Cower before your new master! The Denim Devil!”


Shelbyville Police Department, Shelbyville Canada:

The chief of police was doing a ‘gram’ of him doing his paperwork when suddenly his intern burst through the doors.

“Chief O’Hara! A denim-wearing supervillain has just stolen all of the denim in the city and has made a massive denim hurricane!”

Chief O’Hara did not glance away from his ‘gram’ “Just activate the Man-Man signal Sarah! He’ll handle it. Anyways I like to let prisoners go so me and the boys can use it as a disco room and…” he continued to record his ‘gram’.

Sarah ran up the stairs and flipped the Man-Man symbol on, projecting a massive necktie onto the cloudy night which was there the entire time.

“You called?” a voice said behind Sarah making her turn around.

Behind her stood the hero of Shelbyville, Man-Man, in all his middle-aged glory.

Sarah quickly began to fill Man-Man in on the situation, “There’s a madman destroying the city, I saw it all on someone’s ‘gram’.”

Man-Man put a hand up to his cleanly shaven chin, “The Denim Devil, my old nemesis… well don’t worry miss, I’ll have that problem sorted out in 2-3 working days.”


2-3 working days later, downtown, Shelbyville Canada:

The Denim Devil had, at this point, completely taken over the entirety of downtown Shelbyville, enforcing his cruel will on the populous through his denim golems.

Buildings burned, corpses lied in the streets, and the few that remained were all enslaved in denim factories…

They didn’t mind much though, their ‘grams’ were still far more important than their enslavement of the death of their family members.

And the orchestrator of this madness currently sat on his throne of denim, madly cackling at his success “Yes! From here I shall build an army of denim warriors and take over the entire world!”

“Not so… not so fast Denim Devil!” Man-Man walked into The Denim Devil’s throne room, he was huffing and puffing after walking up the 3 steps in front of The Denim Devil’s palace.

The Denim Devil frowned, “And who might you be office worker?”

“I am not Office-Worker, I am Man-Man, protector of Shelbyville!” Man-Man’s balding hair blew in the breeze.

“Fhm, a superhero? Hehehe, and just what are your powers ‘Man-Man’?” The Denim Devil rested his head on his hand.

Man-Man only smirked as he reached towards his utility belt, pulling out a jar.

Denim Devil’s eyebrow rose.

Man-Man’s hand grabbed the jar’s lid.

Denim Devil’s eyes widened.

Man-Man twisted the lid.

Denim Devil screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Before the jar in Man-Man’s hands opened with a pop, and Denim Devil was defeated.

The end.

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER?

WHO IS THE IMPOSTER?:

My eyes darted all around me as I ran down the halls, he could be anywhere.

It had all started off great, Hyrianlinaiean had sent off a group of forum users, including me, to mine Thrivium in order to help complete thrive.

But what we hadn’t known, was that there was an imposter Among Us.

There were 9 of us, Deathwake, Zenzone, Twilight, Nigel, Nover, Trappist, Evo, Pewdiepie and me, but now only him and I remain.

I still remembered my crewmates’ excitement at the beginning…

“These environmental suits are great, very warm, I wish they had arms though…”

Trappist… you were too pure for this world…

That excitement was dashed when we found Zen’s body stuffed in the vents, his throat slit.

Accusations were thrown out immediately, and the crew ultimately decided that Nover was guilty. We threw her out of the airlock and into the cold ravages of the internet, where she almost immediately was sliced in half by a video of kittens playing piano.

But the murders didn’t stop.

I was fixing some burned out wiring when I saw Evo hung from the ceiling by a spike through his visor. I quickly reported the body and we once again turned on one of our own crewmates, this time it was Twilight…

I didn’t see what happened to him out there, but I later heard from Nigel that he was eaten by baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo.

It wasn’t even 2 minutes into our mission, and we were already down 4 crewmembers.

Teaking went down to communications in an attempt to report to command, but we never saw him again.

What we did see was Trappist laying on the ground, his head two feet away from the rest of his body.

It was only Nigel, me, and Pewdiepie left, and in a panic Nigel decided to vote off Pewdiepie.

I did as well.

I could hear Pewdiepie’s screams through the internet-ship’s hull as I turned to Nigel.

I grinned.

There was only one left.

2 Likes

Nigel Nigel Nigel…

Obviously it was a juvenile shark, not a baby shark. I left a functioning space suit within it before I entered the ship (not that I needed it, being made of shadows.)

Now the real question is who was left with Nigel. Doom? Null? Aah? QuantumCrab? Corpse? Sigils? Dream? Mr. Beast? All famous lovers of thrive who could be likely subjects to be corrupted into an imposter by an evil virus invented by that one guy that zen always talks about how much their ghost hates thrive (I’m blanking on their name lol)