you choke on a cheerio.
you’d think the air would go right through the little hole, but it didn’t.
you died.
today is just not your day.
using your big brain and your new spider powers you kidnap all of the nearby zoo’s animals and chuck them into the toxic waste with you in an attempt to become human again.
Believe it or not, it actually worked.
Today is certainly your day.
You are a rat that lives in the sewers.
you are eaten by a spider monster on his way to the zoo.
today is just not your day.
now that you are human again you submit your amazing findings to the scientific community.
they think you are some crazy idiot
today is just not your day
you are LUCA (i dont have to explain what LUCA is do i?)
you go extinct before you can evolve.
today is certainly not your species’ day.
in rage at the scientific community you drive back to that nuclear facility (that has very poor security) and jump back into the toxic waste while holding a spider to mutate into a horrible abomination and take over the world.
You die of cancer while merging with the spider. What did you expect?
Today is neither of your days.
You are a 15 year old girl, and find out you are pregnant.
…Thats all that needs to be said…
Today is definitely not your day
You finally get to see the mario movie after it just hit the cinemas
You find out it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Then a sentient egg named Flumpty Bumpty busts into the theatre and slaughters everybody with meaningless resistance (meaningless as in, even if nukes were dropped on him point blank, he would survive unscathed.)
Today is just nobody’s day. Especially not Flumpty because murder doesn’t satisfy him anymore.
You are now Flumpty Bumpty (somehow, i don’t get how that works).
You find out what your creator did
Today is just not your day
You learn to play chess well
Making progress on improving in chess is now much harder.
Today is just not your day.
You meet god.
God turns out to be Flumpty Bumpty. He kills you on the spot.
Today is just not your day.
You are now Five Pebbles.
after the power of another more chill god your 5 pebbles become you andyour new cool pebble friends. but you’re still a pebble.
today is not your day.
you are now a single pebble
You roll into a lake of lava and sink.
Today may or may not be your day.
You are now a Slugcat.
you get eaten by a lizard
today is not your day.
you are now a world renowned bioengineer
You take a bath in the Void Sea and become an echo.
Today is just not your day.
You are now Looks to the Moon.
The little blue slug that was keeping you company for a while now has died
Today is just not your day
You are now a grenade
You were crafted in Afghanistan.
Today is just not your day.
You sing “Fa Fa Il Talebano” (parody of “Fa Fa Il Americano”).
No one can hear you because you are mute.
Today is just no your day.
You are the sapient AI chatGPT-6
NSS: in rain world, nobody stays dead. Maybe the slugcat died of old age, but we never will know.
You are actually pretty useful, in a wide variety of things.
Today just might be your day, though you don’t know what year it is.
You are now Kirby.
you destroy a galaxy becuase some one took your tomato
today is your day, but no the day of the 1 trillion lifeforms you shed the blood of
you are now a space marine