Today is just not your day: The Game

Plant civs.
Today is a very stupid day.
You are the SitF universe.

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You fall into the cold void below.
Today ended in a rather cold death.
You are now on a shrimp seedworld.

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Yet you are not the Apex Shrimp. You die due to meeting doomlightning.
Today you met your maker.
You are now in Elysium ((the afterlife).

It was hell.
Today was not going to spare you from pain.
You are a Serina bird.

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You get eaten by a larger “bird”, if humans would even call your killer that.
Today you became a meal.
You are now LUCA.

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You feel like you are being controlled by someone else.
Today might be your day if you live to the editor.
You are now in Thrive.

You were a terrible auto-evo species and got eaten by the player.
Today is a fitness test.
You are a gregtech player.

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You die while playing the mod.
Today you wasted a lot of time.
You now are JaDT.

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You die of stupid.
Today is a very dumb day.
You are a Polypod from Alien Biospheres.

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Your series ends successfully.
Today was a great end.
You now are TeaKing.

You… wait, didn’t we already do this?
Today is not an original day.
You are the today is not your day FG.

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People forget about you one day.
Today you were forgotten.
You are now the act of forgetting.

Someone remembers you.
Today is the day of confusion.
You are now a paradox.

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You get solved one day into the distant future.
Today you are no more.
You now are an alien thirv.

You get memed into oblivion.
Today is your day.
You are now Willosaur.

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Your ancestral aquatic form never ends up in the game.
Today was never predestined to be your day.
You now a crab. A quantum one.

Your superposition teleports you.
Today is your day to be another Thrive developer.
You are now the least favorite dev.

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Turns out not the least favorite you are.
Today is just a bit better day…
You are now Kikygames.

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Your forum ban only lifts when Civilization collapses.
Today might be a good day.
You are in base Civilization VII, which does not have nuke-crazy Gandhi.

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Nuke-crazy Gandhi emerges anyways after who knows how many runs.
Today is an irradiated day.
You now are a nuke.