Today is just not your day: The Game

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

Doing!
Today is a zoomy day.
You are Ness.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You are killed by some snek.
Today you died.
You now are the snek.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

Someone mistakes you for a noodle and eats you.
Today is pasta day.
You are the guy who ate the snek.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You develop the snake illness.
Today a new disease was born.
You now are the infested one.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

The virus spreads.
Today is just like Plague Inc.
You are Ndemic Creations’ CEO.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You fail to contain the snake illness and fall sick yourself!
Today humanity has fallen.
You now are a terrorbird who run this snake illness simulation.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

Somehow, the illness escapes and infects you!
Today was the day the 4th, no, 5th wall was shattered.
You are the computer running the simulation.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You become infected too!
Today is the doomsday!
You now are the terrorbird SUNDIAL.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

Someone sleeps on the controls and detonates you.
Today was the REAL doomsday.
You are the charred reamains of what used to be called Earth.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You get terraformed by the galactic terrorbirds.
Today is a recovery day.
You now are a scrat settler of this renewed Earth.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

ACORNS!
Today is your lucky day.
You are the first Scrat country.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You start working on a prototype of the ascension gate.
Today is a day of glory.
You now are the second scrat empire.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

You get into the ascension gate, which is more complete.
It does not work, and wastes your time.
Today is not a godly day.
You are the Third Scrat Empire.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

Your collapse too.
Today the title’s meaning diminishes.
You now are the 100th scrat empire.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

Okay. Why are there so many?
Today is not an original day.
You are the 1000th scrat empire.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

The terror birds wonder if they should put the scrats out of their misery.
Today the title means nothing.
You now are one of the thousands of “scrat empires” all over Earth following the collapse of the millionth one.

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

You give up on more scrat empires.
Today was finally an end to the madness.
You are the First Scrat Republic.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You succeed at uniting Earth.
Today is a great day.
You now are the galactic scrat republic (terrorbirds have ascended now btw).

[JustaDumbThriver (He who has the IQ of a half-eaten Wendy's Baconator(tm))]

You somehow force the terrorbirds into descending.
Today a power vacuum appeared.
You are the scrat that forced the terrorbirds to descend.

[aah31415 (The maker of SitF, Radiostrocity, The Lifenote and TGBing; The Second Ascended...; And just maybe a security warning come alive...?)]

You watch your former masters evolve into new, bizarre forms.
Today is a reincarnation day.
You now are a human (evolved from the descended terrorbirds).