Without Horizen - Doomlightning Novel

In light of requests:

and because of the high prese and with advie of some:

I think it’s time to reveal what I’m working on:
This is a novella based on the forum game that ended recently (although there were complaints about the game being too short, the players really liked the story)

and I decided to turn the last rounds into a story / novella!

I have be asended byong my grammer problem and start writhing and i wish to give on that a feedback from anyone who read and have something to say.
just a warning that my some stuff that read can be change over time base on the feedback i resive.

I plan after the 10 chapters finish to write and given a feedback, I will publish that as a webnovel and I probely remove the link to the google doc for not spoile, but there will be the final work there.

I will be pls to hear about how i done so far. (name can also be change)

Enjoy!

Edit 1: Chapter 8 its on. with some fix

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i believe theres a setting to hide the names of people’s google accounts when viewing the document
if you want you could do that.

I think its alread doing that automatecly, but if so, how we can do taht?

tbh, i dont really know, the only way i can find by searching it up is via just signing out of your google account before entering the doc

eh, but i suppose that it doesn’t really matter.

sorry for the double post, but now when i click on the little pfps it doesnt allow someone to see the name of the google account :smile:

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see? it automatecly doce, soo i dont have to break my mind to make that anomimos

Anyway, i am liking the story so far!

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Guys I found a leaked immage of the netflix adaptation:

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Waaaiiiiitttt…
I just realized…
its not doomlighting, its doomlightning…
ive been thinking its doomlighting all allong

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thank you, empathy banana.

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Ok, read it and: In chapter 8 you wrote “meta ball” instead of “metal ball” and also in

"how much did you hear of the conversation?
“since the sentence ‘the end of everything’”

You wrote “he” instead of “she”

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I did not find any “meta ball” but i fix the other
thx for telling me

edit: chapter nine its up

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well, today i finish my 10th chapter.
acording to what i promest, i think i will start to publish the ready chapters as a webnovel.

that mean that soon its start.

aka: i think deathwave will love the chapter 9

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“Said lavawalker” in chapter nine

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that fix by now.
i just add the opsin to add a coment where u can show where it wrong or non-undestand. whold make everyone life ezer

Where are you going to publish it?

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I plan to publish that in a site call Royal road. I just make all the way right and now i want to ask for parmisen to publish in they site. I dont see any proble here, i just have to do two thing:

  1. The category that the novella:

    (i still thinkig also inclumnd Sci-fi becuse of some futureistic aspact, but in the end, i do think i will skip that. Its still not final)
  2. I need to think about a expisicia (the word whrie behind any books that summry the book)

I first want to check that the 2 first chapters are right

Just a few things I have noticed, not affecting the story but aren’t in it that were in the full game -

The Lizeron, Kajit, Fossilwalkers, Biosynthezoids, and Crestlings have yet to be described. Though the Kingdom of Acrimea has been mentioned, it’s people have not been described. The Kajit make sense, as Centarian did not have any interaction with outside civs in game. The Lizeron are a part of the federation though, so it would almost seem strange not to mention them. Same with Fossilwalkers. The Biosynthezoids make a little more sense due to the Mantis not being elaborated on much as of yet.

I love how you are describing the races so far and would hate to see these be missed!

A small suggestion - maybe in the back of the published novella you could link the forum game? Like put the URL for people to type in themselves (or click on in ebook fashion). Would bring more people to the forums and let them see how it all really played out.

Love how the story is going though!

Edit: Also, while mentioned I missed if the true Rocco’s were described, and the Dryadons and Island Eaters have yet to be as well I believe.

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i have some mesening:

“Bring him to the doctors, we have a wounded man here” The titan shouted and a team of little lizards began to carry the figure in black.

But they are not mentioned properly, and I would like to elaborate on that

It’s in the planning, after all, it’s the source and it’s right to add the link there. But not a moment. In order for this to be accepted, I must not include the link there, these if they ask me for proof.:

It’s true I did not expand, but I did this on purpose. Because they will be detailed later. Rocc they came from the Egyptian mythology, so who knows, then they knew what they looked like. But the rest of it really requires more elaborate detail

even so, thx to sya that

edit:

they will show later, but i will not use the name becuse its already use in other media:

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