And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the crowning of the inaugural Thrive Community Writing Contest winner!
I’m pleased with the number, quality and variety of submissions. Clearly people had a lot of pent up anger about libraries and noses that needed some release. I’m happy to have provided that.
Since a few pieces in particular piqued my interest I’ve decided to list my top five entries. As the self-appointed judge, my opinion is obviously correct and irrefutable.
So, without further ado…
#5 - AGAINST: Aviation (@zenzonegaming)
As someone with a strong phobia of air travel myself, something about the visceral, no holds barred attack on the aviation industry struck a chord with me. Many went over the edge in their rants, but zenzomegaming appears to have redefined our entire concept of exaggeration in his pleas to ‘dig holes in the ground and bury the planes in them to send them back to the devil’.
#4 - FOR: Asteroid impacts (@OmnipotentFNarr)
OmnipotentFNarr’s multiple entries were all rants of the highest quality and worst judgement, but it was his rather quite convincing argument for the benefits of asteroid impacts that I found most enthralling. And apparently, ‘if we do survive, the crash site can have some neat goodies, like gold!’ which surely won’t corrupt the survivors into the very evils the impact hoped to destroy. Perfectly illogical, suitably driven, and just the right amount of sadistic to win him the fourth spot on my list.
#3 - FOR: Angry emojis (@DPHkraken)
Okay, writers. Y’all got a thing or two to learn from Kraken who effortlessly combined the mediums of high concept prose like ‘Anger has remained constant - can you taint rage? No. Satirize it, make it faux - those are mere jests’ with emoji. I didn’t read so much as experience this assault on all my senses. We are all blessed by the presence of a n g e r y thanks to Kraken’s convincing mixed-media piece on those annoying little internet images.
#2 - AGAINST: Water (@QuantumCrab)
W̟͎͞Á̫̖̰͖̯̮͟T̢̩̜E̙ͅR͍̰͢,̴̷̡̼̝͓̞̱ ҉̗̭͍̣̜̼̙̟W͓̥͔̟̻͟ͅA͕͎̤̺̬̮̩̞̙͜T͏̹̙͇̭̟͢E̤R̥̰̕͞ ̴EV̨͟ER͡Y̧̛W͝HE̕Ŗ̶E P͘L͞Ę̕A͝S҉̨E̸͏ ̶R̶̛E͠M̶O͘͡V́E̸͘ ́T̀͢͞Ḩ̛I͏S͘͘ ͏̧W̶̩̠̤̪̩͓̪̲͈̖̻̻͔͇̟͇̟̖͌̄̊͗̓̃̓̓́ͧͤ̽ͥ̈́͛̅̒̏͌ͅA̢̦͇̹͎ͬ̎ͧ̑̄̔ͬͮͥ̿ͧ̄̔̏͢T̗̝̘͉̗͍̝̞̥̫̟̫̋̋̉̎̂͋̍́É̶̾͛̄͂̔ͮ͆̈̓͐̍̌̍̽̎҉̴̴͎͕̜͇͎͍̞̱̖͙̜̭̮͉ͅRͤ̑̉̏̒̔ͤͥ̓ͨͩͧ̋̚͝͡͏͇̝͍̲͡
QuantumCrab achieved the pinnacle of opinionated absurdism as he described all the ways H2O can H2Obliterate you. I’m impressed by his use of sharp, fast sentences and grammatical parallelism to conjure up the image of someone sent into frenzy by water. I want to quote the whole thing because it’s all very well done. Just read it. The water is inside me, and I’m scared.
#1 - AGAINST: Thrive coming out (@Zahyyy)
It was never going to be anything else, was it? Zahyy uncovered a way to turn the task I thought would produce a quick laugh into a touching essay on the nature of our very own community. I might have teared up a little. Perhaps, deep in my heart, I even agree with him a little bit. After all, if it wasn’t for Thrive’s geological rate of progress, would I have been forced to start this contest to keep engagement up? I couldn’t put it better than ‘The developers are not just creating a rather ambitious game, they are bonding this wonderful community together’, so there you go.
Congratulations to the winners and thanks for the submissions, everyone. I hope you enjoyed that. Would anyone be in favour of similar writing exercises in future? I doubt I’ll use this exact premise again, at least at first, since I have a few more ideas inspired by LitSoc. Let me know what you think.