👻 The Thrive Vault of Paranormal Activity

I found out that Zenzone has a twin brother making theories about Peppa pig on Reddit

That’s his cousin that has the playstation 5.

It has many characters in it, ‘tis true.

I’m still (jokingly) bugged zenzone made my name Milo Walters. I wonder if TOAST would let me legally change my name in return for pointing out one of zen’s bases?

TOP SECRET TOAST YOU CAN’T OPEN BY PRESIDENTS SAY SO

The president totally didn’t say so

Anyway the base would totally be old and rigged with booby traps but they wouldn’t have to know that. I’d just legally change my name before hand

Mini case 10:

WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN ABLE TO POST FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS?

Recently I have mysteriously vanished from the thrive community forums, completely stopping to post my paranormal case files.

But… why?

Why did I suddenly stop posting case files for almost two weeks?

Was it because I had caught some disease and was sick for several days and it took me a while longer to “get back on the horse”?

No, this was clearly the work of Bill Clinton, it’s the only explanation that makes sense.

Case 24:

WHO IS DAZED_AND_CONFUS3D?

Recently my assistant, Butler, has brought to my attention that there is a person on reddit who goes by the name DaZed_and_ConFus3d.

He has been seen exposing conspiracy truths about the Nigerian government propaganda show known as Peppa Pig to us Americans, similar to how I expose conspiracy truths about other things.

To similar…

However as I was unable to do anything for 2 weeks thanks to Bill Clinton this case sadly went unsolved.

Until now.

It took much investigating, cross referencing and of course binging the entirety of Peppa Pig and comparing it to other Nigerian propaganda shows, but I finally got it. I figured out who DaZed_and_ConFus3d is and why he does what he does.

He is a synthetic robot replica of me made by Nigerian rebels who wished to discredit their government.

They used their ultra high tech labs and factories in order to make him out of organic materials, which technically means that he is a clone of me.

They made him an account, DaZed_and_ConFus3d, and ever since then he has been relentlessly attacking and breaking down Nigeria’s propaganda vehicle known as Peppa pig.

But then they reached too high, they wanted another clone of me so that they could expose conspiracy truths about Cocomelon, a propaganda show made by the few surviving SS members that escaped to America. So they made Nasturtiums_and_Beer, another clone of me.

But they made him too advanced, too smart, too much like me, so he escaped into the Nigerian wilderness and began a counter rebellion against the Nigerian rebels.

This can be seen where he disagrees with DaZed_and_ConFus3d and shows the real conspiracy truth behind the other also real conspiracy truth.

They began an epic battler over the last 8 months, constantly battling for supremacy over the other, until 2 weeks ago, shortly after Butler brought this to my attention.

For Moses_The_Wise had returned from the dead to stop the two clones, having spent most of his afterlife in r/:belgium:fantheories in order to prepare for the epic battle.

He materialized out of a ray of holy light, wielding an HMG in both hands, ready to charge the Nigerian rebel factory.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

This is why I’m formally petitioning the US government to make Peppa Pig day a national holiday and to buy Nigeria (and make it the 52nd state), also to nuke New Zealand.

Zenzone is jealous that his cousins are getting all the reddit awards

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Case: 25

WHAT IS MY DETECTIVE AGANCY’S NAME?

For many months I have been the leader of a detective agency, working alongside my two assistants Greenwings and Butler.

My assistants and I have solved a great many mysteries recently, but there is one thing that we still have never been able to answer.

What.

Is.

Our.

Name?

I am constantly asked this question, mostly by the ghosts of various historical figures that live inside my head.

But in order to find out the answer to this all-consuming question, I would have to investigate harder than I’ve ever investigated before.

I decided to begin my investigation in Taiwan, for no particular reason, I just needed to start somewhere.

But as I was exploring a Taiwanese fish market I came across a startling revelation.

All of the fish were actually robots programmed to stop me from finding out the name of my agency.

They sprang into action as soon as I neared a fish stall, grabbing me by the throat and tossing me into the sky.

I was barely able to land on a conveniently placed elderly woman that broke my fall.

The fish piled on top of each other and transformed into a giant fish robot that began to chase after me, but luckily I managed to lure it into the ocean where the water made it short circuit.

Clearly there were things out there that wanted to stop me from finding out my agency’s name, and I had to find out who they were and stop them before I would be able to.

I teleported to another random location, this time it was Australia, and once I arrived there I came to an even more startling realization.

The emus were planning to declare war on Australia again, and if I didn’t stop them then they would declare war on the entire world soon after.

So I began to shoot at them, but their laser eyes proved to be too much for me and they soon had me dangling over a vat of acid.

But luckily I was able to escape through some very elaborate and amazing acrobatic techniques that put the emus in such awe that they all spontaneously combusted.

The Australian government was so grateful of me that they bought me tickets to Fyre Festival 2022.

I obviously didn’t want to go but they insisted and soon I was on a plane to some tropical island with Greenwings and Butler.

But once I arrived there I realized that the organizers of the Fyre Festival were in reality the organization that was trying to stop me from finding out my agency’s name, I realized this when they used a Surface to Air Missile to shoot down my plane.

I was forced into a battle that was far grander than any I had experienced before, I pity anyone who was not able to witness such a grand event, for their lives are ultimately meaningless without the glory of these 3 hours engrained into their psyche.

But once it was done and I had defeated the last of the Fyre Festival Cyborg Ghost Zombie Werewolf Dragon (which was being ridden by a clone of Todd Howard, same as all of the other Fyre Festival Cyborg Ghost Zombie Werewolf Dragons) I suddenly realized the name of my agency, as if it had been beamed into my head.

W.H.A.T

Weird Hat Appropriation Team.

It makes perfect sense.

Case 26:

WHO IS HYRILNIAN190’S EVIL TWIN?

And

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE INVISIBLE PFPS?

And

WHY DID HYRUINLINA NOT REINSTATE THE UNDERWATER CIV DISCUSSION THREAD?

(there’s a lot of questions that are going to be answered here, buckle up)

As we all know Hainrl is a disgusting merman that needs to be exterminated for the good of the human race, however, it has recently come to light that there is an even more evil and disgusting being that must be destroyed.

Hyrinalin’s evil twin, Ailnai.

Aygns was separated from Hudin after they hatched from their disgusting fish eggs, and was raised by a family of humans, who kept his disgusting fish aspects a secret to him using a series of elaborate pullies, a wheelchair, and lots of makeup.

But once he discovered his true heritage, he flew into a wild fish rage (as is customary of such lowly beings) and slaughtered his entire human family.

He then wandered the earth for many years, slowly learning of his brother and training his skills until he was finally able to do what he had wanted to do from the very moment he found out he was a merman.

Become the lead dev of thrive.

It is for this reason that Azninlkina began to kidnap people off of the forums, absorbing their PFPs into himself in order to gain enough power to challenge his brother (this is why some people’s PFPs are invisible).

And once he had gained enough power to challenge his brother, he kidnapped him and assumed his identity.

It would just so happen that this took place a few seconds before I altered the time stream in order to make it so that the Merfolk civilization wouldn’t collapse or something (inadvertently erasing toasters from existence and turning mount Rushmore into mount Nixon as well), and since he was evil he didn’t care that there was no reason to keep the underwater civ discussion banned.

It makes perfect sense.

And so Harold is currently kept prisoner inside of his own closet, while Andy maliciously directs the thrive community forum, and even thrive itself to it’s very doom.

This is all why I’m formally petitioning the us government to empty it’s toxic waste, nuclear waste, and oil reserves into the ocean. So that we may put into effect, ze final solution to the Merfolk question.

Case 27:

WHY DID NIGEL GET CLONED?

Almost a year ago Nigel came to the community forums with a startling photograph, showing himself and Agentine standing together with another himself!

But zenzone, you may ask. Why are you reporting on this now when it’s been almost a year since the photo was taken?

I did not write this recently, but instead I wrote this as soon as it came to light and put it on a delayed release so that the ghost mafia wouldn’t whack me for breeching their copyright claims over the photograph.

But zenzone, you may continue. Why is this titled as the twenty seventh case if it was made almost a year ago? It really seems like you just didn’t notice the post an-

SHUT UP I NOTICED IT AND PUT IT ON A DELAYED RELEASE OR ELSE THE GHOST MAFIA WOULD WHACK ME.

Now that that’s all sorted out, let’s get onto the mystery.

So how did Nigel post a picture of himself and himself, along with Agentine?

It’s rather simple, you see, Agentine was always extremely jealous of Nigel and Nigel, always hanging out together, sharing the same clothes and bodies and families, he wanted what they had.

So he began to stalk their every move, following them wherever they went and rooting through their trash for any hints or secrets that could help him get closer to Nigel.

And then finally one day he got his chance to put his sick, twisted plan into motion.

As Nigel and Nigel both stood on the beech, preparing to take a photograph together, he skulked in the background, waiting for his golden opportunity.

And once Nigel’s finger clicked the camera’s button, he dashed forward, butting in between of Nigel and Nigel and getting right up into the camera as the photo was taken.

It was the worst photobombing incident since the great bunny ears massacre of 1936.

And so he was promptly detained by the nearest forum admin, which was Oliveriver, and dragged away to the shadow realm as Nigel and Nigel lay on the floor being tended to by paramedics.

Photobombing is no joke people.

What’s that? That wasn’t the mystery you came here for? You want to know how Nigel had a clone? Not why Agentine was in the picture?

Okay weirdo, way to latch on to the most unimportant details but fine, I’ll tell you.

You see, many years ago when the system made Nigel (see “CASE 12”), it also made a backup for the prototype ai, but it was deemed to dangerous, too unpredictable, too funky, and so it was discarded into New York’s sewage system, as all failed experiments are.

His name was Legin, and as he roamed New York’s sewers, he slowly grew obsessed with Nigel, and proving his worth to his creator, and so he wished to supplant him in order to make him the true Nigel.

He planned to get close to Nigel, to gain his trust and faith and then, right when he isn’t paying attention, stab him in the back and take his skin for himself (in order to make Nigel suit to fool everyone).

And then finally, he found his opportunity, just as Nigel was setting up his camera in order to take a selfie of the two of them he pulled a knife out of his back pocket, ready to strike as soon as the photo was taken.

But then, unexpectedly, Agentine burst in between them, giving them both brutal photobomb whiplash.

And as they were both being treated in the hospital, Legin’s Bio-synthetic heart went into cardiac arrest, and he died.

So I guess in a way, Agentine photobombing Nigel and almost killing him, actually saved his life.

He’s still going to stay in the shadow realm though, photobombing just isn’t forgivable.