C̴̩̓̐á̴̡̊s̵̥̯͝e̴̘͊ ̷̲̏͝3̷͇̪̔3̶̰͕̔:̵͚̗̊̿
̴̡͇̚W̴̮̲͠H̸̪͂Y̵̟̓̆ ̶͇̀͊D̸̄̓ͅĨ̴̱̫̊D̸̗̍͝ ̴̩͌I̴̠̬͌́T̴̯͛̀ ̴͈̚H̵̬͓̓̚A̴͓̫̓P̸̱̿P̴̥̐E̷̟͕͋N̴̟̄…̸̡̒?̴̢̿
̴̱͑W̴̡̄͑ͅḧ̸̬́ͅy̵̝̔̾…̶̘̗̉ ̴̛̺w̶̨̛h̵̹̾̇y̴̹͛͆ ̸̳̑̑d̷͈̊i̶͖͆d̶̫̠́̚ ̶̝͂į̴͑͠t̵͕̮̀ ̷̗̠̓͛ȟ̶͕̆a̸̙͒͛p̷̝̾͘p̸̘͒ë̵̗͔n̵̝̈́̃…̷̖͈̾̀ ̶̻̲̏w̶̬̣͛h̸̜̊y̸̘̌̀ ̸̯̆d̷̡͛̕ḯ̶̙d̸̢̬̃̿ ̶̣̰̕̕I̴̧̮̚ ̵̮͋̆d̵͙͒̾o̴͎͈͝ ̶̘̼̐͗ṭ̷̳͑̍h̸͍͍͗̎i̵͔͗̈́s̶͇̯̓̐…̵͕̗̈́
̵̩̒̎Ȉ̵͚͉͗n̸̼͗n̵̖̿͑ô̷̰̰ĉ̷̞̾e̶̛͙̫ń̶͈t̵̢̾͗͜ ̶̧̟͊̕b̶̙͑l̶̗̯̓̈o̷̠̠͌͝ō̵̟̤d̶̠̈́͒ ̷̤̓̉n̶͙͌ò̸̘w̷̞̫͊ ̵̢̯͂̀ś̷͉̑ṭ̴̨́a̸͙̚í̷̥͇n̵͉͓̐s̷̩͕̽͆ ̷͔̈́̇m̴̖̈́͑ÿ̵̱̫́ ̴̧̂h̷̳̽͑a̷̢͇͋ń̵̹͛d̴̖̘̐̉ş̷̮̿,̶͇͒͘ ̴̨̿ạ̴̽n̶̟̓d̶̦̀ ̷̦̜̒a̸̡̟̔l̵̝̠̍l̴̛̰ ̶̠͙̀I̷̝̺͌̀ ̴̙͆ą̴͙͘m̵̯̱̒ ̵͔̗͂͑l̷̬̈́͝e̶͇͋f̵͍͕͛͠t̵̡͝ ̵̝̘̏̕w̶̞̜̆̑ỉ̴͈̺t̸͇͜͝h̷̼͌,̸̪̺͠ ̷͇͓̉͊ḭ̴͠ŝ̴̫́͜ ̸̸̭̬̪̅̄̚h̵̖̏i̶̻̕s̴̸̝͙̯̔̈ ̴̠͚̍̈́m̵͕̙̄̚å̶̝̄d̴̠́d̶̂̾ͅé̵̹n̶͕̾ī̶̲̺n̵͈̈́ğ̵̺̺͝ ̷̭̏́ͅl̸̡͚̿͠a̸͕͔͂ŭ̵͉̲̈g̸͚͓͑̈́ȟ̸̭̈́t̵̳͂͝ȇ̵̤̘r̵͔̀̌…̴͈̑͗
̴̡̐Ẅ̶ͅh̸͇̀a̶̫͂t̵̮͔̀ ̶̳͎́h̴͓̟̄a̸̲̓̓v̵̧̗̓͋e̶̡̩̊̎ ̴͚̦̀̎I̷̘͝ ̴̠̔̔ḓ̸͔̔̀ŏ̷͕͋n̵͓̟̓̃e̸̼̫͠?̸͈͝
̵̬̏̾
Mini case 12:
HOW DOES HERSHEY’S MAKE IT’S CHOCOLATE BARS?
Recently my mind has been plagued by this question, why is Hershey’s brand chocolate so good? And how can I make my own at home?
This is why I sneaked into one of their factories in order to find out and spread the recipe throughout the entire world!
And this is what I found on their recipe list:
Milk
Cocoa butter
Wax
Goat blood
Granulate sugar
Chocolate
Lead
Milk fat
Bubonic plague
Lecithin (soy)
Rats
PGPR; natural flavor
And finally the secret ingredient, children’s hopes and dreams (extracted of course using a child shredder).
Now with this recipe you’ll be able to make your own chocolatey goodness at home, at work, or pretty much anywhere with ample amounts of ingredients!
your forgetting butyric acid that’s created in the milk preservation process, which is the chemical that makes europeans say it tastes like vomit
that’s a conspiracy theory.
then why does it taste like vomit + nostalgia?
it tastes like a child’s hopes and dreams.
i never dreamed about vomit- UNLESS- okay so all my fever dreams have one flavor in common, usually at the bad spacial sense climax, sometimes tasted with my feat, sometimes with my ears, never my tongue. so aside for being weird af it tastes like chocolateless hershey’s bars. very insightful of you.
why do you know what your feet and ears taste like?
no tasted BY like in contrast to with taste buds. (also for clarification they taste like feet and ears respectively, im not weird or anything)
ah misread it, sry my bad.
it’s been a while since i’ve posted but don’t worry i’m just focusing energy on other things right now.
i should be back to posting regularly soon-ish.
Case 34:
WHY HAS ROBOROMB RETURNED?
Recently a familiar pfp returned to the community forums, the original spam king himself, Roboromb.
Many welcomed him with open arms, relieved to see his return, but what many of them didn’t know.
Was that Roboromb’s arrival would spell complete and utter doom for the forums and everyone on them! Why? Because he hates Thrive!
Allow me to explain.
You see, Roboromb was born in Prussia in the year 1721, to an electron and an omniscient person.
While he was growing up his favorite hobby was to watch pewdiepie on youtube, but his mother didn’t approve, for her electron culture forbade the viewing of pewdiepie videos.
Also because it was the 1720s.
When he became a teenager he was enlisted by the British government to fight against the American colonies, however his electron culture specifically forbade fighting in a war against American colonies revolting against the British empire.
Also because he was Prussian.
And it was the 1730s.
When Roboromb grew up he decided to study abroad in Chad, the African country. He majored in gender studies and made several friends with the local Viking ghosts, one of whom would later go on to star in several films such as Twins, Batman Returns, and the Detective Zen movie (as Heyuialins).
Later in life Roboromb was walking around Austria-Hungary when some guy asked to borrow his gun, and he agreed.
He was quite miffed because the guy never returned his gun.
Fast forward again and Roboromb was strolling through Germany when he saw a dejected, homeless man painting caricatures for people, he decided to buy one and as he was being drawn the man he was told the saddest story ever he ever heard. The artist was a veteran of some war and now was homeless, though he disagreed with the man that it was all the fault of the jewish, he gave him a 200 dollar tip and told him to follow his dreams.
He likes to think that man went on to become a great artist, but he never had an interest in German news, so he never knew for sure.
The painting hangs above his fireplace to this day, and used to be his pfp.
Fast forward even more and Roboromb was eating spaghetti at an Italian restaurant, and this directly led to the AIDS epidemic.
Fast forwards even more after that and Roboromb would become the head of Bethesda and fall in love with the Bethesda supercomputer and father Todd Howard.
“it just works.”
No, bad Todd, shoo.
And so now you know why Roboromb hates Thrive and also Japan for some reason.
This is why I have petitioned the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to assassinate the very concept of math itself.
You’re welcome community forums.
Mini case 15:
WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE MINECRAFT’s UNNAMED UPDATE?
Recently Mojang announced the next major update to Minecraft, version 1.20 or, “the unnamed update”
It will introduce game changing features such as bamboo blocks.
However some people have derided the update, stating that it “isn’t big enough” or “it’s barely an update” or “what is Minecraft?”
Now, I will not beat around the bush, let’s cut straight to the chase, I’m not going to waste time on semantics, the main thing I’m getting at here, I don’t have a lot of time so I’m just going to say it out loud, what I’m saying is, what I’m getting at is, the point is, I’m leaving out the little details but,
Everyone who says that they do not like the new Minecraft update is being paid off by Tibet with anime body pillows of Joe Biden.
I don’t think I need to explain any of this of course, unless you’re an idiot.
Are you an idiot?
Didn’t think so.
Anyways this is why extorted Saturday night live to bring back Elon Musk for another episode.
Ah yes, about 1.20, I can confirm that it will be the Creppers update. We’ll have the nuclear creppers (they explode you computer) the end creppers (they beat the game for you) the nether creppers (they like nether pancakes) and finally the Creppy he plays roblox all day looking for kids to explode
How do I know all this? Well, you can find a lot of things in Russia
that last crepper sounds very concerning…
Ah that’s why you haven’t seen them at bedrock yet
And you don’t want to see
Mini…
…
Why should I even do this…?
Does anyone even care?
…
Is this really what’s best for me… for anyone?
…
I’m ending it… all of it…
I’m ending… my keto diet.
Okay now let’s get back to the cast file!
Mini case 16:
WHY IS DARK SOULS SO HARD?
Have you ever played dark souls?
You have?
LIAR!
Everyone knows that not a single person can survive a playthrough of dark souls! Why? Because it’s so hard!
It’s a scientifically proven fact that 50 percent of players who start dark souls from ANY platform will instantly die of a heart attack. The other 50 percent will as well, as well as the last 50 percent!
It is also proven that 101% of all employees who have ever worked on a dark souls game would later become mass killers. These people include Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Genghis Khan and Honey Boo Boo!
But why is it so hard?
That question is like asking why the sky is blue, exactly like that question.
Dark souls is so hard because light refracts through small particles in the upper atmosphere of earth, both making the sky appear blue, and making dark souls a very hard game.
There is no other logical explanation.
And that’s just a science, a GAME SCIENCE
Thanks for nothing.
I will buy the game, record a playthrough, and post it on the forums. Just for this.
First thing I’ll do though is watch a speedrun to get an idea of how to beat the game.
Mini case: forgot-the-number
WHY IS THE BANANA ZENZONE BACK?
It’s a beautiful day outside.
Birds are singing the theme of better caul saul, flowers planted by the FBI are watching me… On days like these, readers like you…
should be wondering why I’m referencing a meme that died half a decade ago.
Ah yeah, and it’s also a great day to investigate this mystery. Compared to literally everyone I’m a baby here on the forum. That’s why I never got to see the glorious Zenzone Banana.
Yet.
For some reason, Zenzone Banana is back and said he’s leaving in November.
Could this be caused by Zenzone’s chronic schizophrenia?
Obviously not, just think. There’s a suspicious amount of stuff coming back. RoboRomb, ZenzoneBanana, Sam o’Nella, mario movie, forum activity… This is obviously caused by the collapse of the space-time continuum, and this was obviously caused by…
My… Sandwich?
Okay I’ll explain. One day I was making a sandwich and I had the brilliant idea of mixing peanut butter and cheese. The result was disastrous and I threw it in the trash. Little did I know that inside the sandwich became an isolated biosphere, and life began to evolve in the sandwich. Two days later, I had dyson spheres around my trash can. Obviously I ignored it, after all, who doesn’t want to see the technological singularity happen? But I forgot that the sandwich civilization knew how to make time machines, and started traveling around distorting history. All I need to do is put some dragonflies in my trash, it will do the trick.
Excellent work on your part, Zenzone. I cannot disclose any information regarding my unexpected return to the forums. Such an act would likely destabilise this particular region of cyberspace and alter the native life beyond recognition.
this person with the username willow has been spamming a lot… I wonder why that is?