👻 The Thrive Vault of Paranormal Activity

Not Thrive
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It isn’t. Intonation has some meaning but it’s not like in tonal languages. Either way, if you say, “kot” or “kot?”, it’s going to essentially mean “cat”, but in the second example you would be asking.
It’s more synthetic than English though.

In Polish, you can say:
“Tata je obiad.”
“Tata obiad je.”
“Je tata obiad.”
“Obiad je tata.”
“Obiad tata je.”
“Je obiad tata.”
And all of those sentences will mean “dad eats dinner” (some of them are more outlandish and poetic though).

Going back to tonality, I guess you were curious if there’s any difference in saying “potem” and “potem”. There isn’t. They sound the same.

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The worst is definitely Chinese. Though it honestly isn’t terribly hard to know which word is being used if you know the context

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Case 42:

WHY CAN NO ONE GET A PS5 STILL?

If you have been a living human being within the last 2 years then you might have noticed that it is impossible for anyone to get a PS5 (well, except for me of course I have one).

Why is that? Why is it that even two years after it was first released is it impossible for anyone to actually buy a Play Station 5? And why are they so large and inconveniently shaped? And when will the McRib return?

All this and more, on these Case File.

Go down to your local BlockBuster, ask the cashier where they keep their PS5s.

If you do this then you might start to notice them sweating, nervously swallowing and trembling as they prepare themselves to answer you.

They will say they don’t have PS5s at this store Mark.

Hmm, suspicious.

Begin to push over stands and tear off the wallpaper and they’ll call the police on you for the fifth time.

Coincidence? I think not.

Break into the home of the owner of BlockBuster and suddenly you’re on a no fly list.

I just wanted to find the hidden PS5s.

All of these and more are not simple coincidences, it’s them trying to stop you from getting a Play Station 5, it’s them infringing on your human rights to buy a Play Station 5, it’s them ‘just asking for it’.

But why is them trying to do this? Why do them care?

In order to understand this I will first have to tell you a little story, the story

Of a walrus.

Wally The Walrus was a good walrus, he always did the walrus things like, having tusks.

But one day he saw a big boat off the coast of his walrus home, it had the playstation logo.

Wally The Walrus was captured by Sony and butchered to be turned into a Play Station 5, you see they needed the unique type of blubber that only walruses have in order to make the SSD memory card.

They had done similar things in the past, they killed the Northern White Rhinos to make the PS4, the Spix’s Macaw to make PS3s, Dodos to make PS2s, and finally the wooly mammoth in order to make Play Stations.

(and don’t even get me started on the other consoles and handhelds they made).

So Wally The Walrus was killed and turned into a PS5, the only PS5. I bought this PS5 at an auction.

That is largely irrelevant but that’s how I got the only Play Station 5 in the world.

Anyways you might be wondering why they didn’t make any more PS5s. Well they were lobbied by PETA to stop killing animals in order to make gaming consoles.

That’s right, the reason that you don’t have a Play Station 5 right now is vegans. You should start a forest fire as revenge.

For example, I set a bunch of them in the Amazon a few months ago.

You’re welcome world.

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Case 43:

WHY DOES ELON MUSK HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN?

If you have been following the recent events then you might have noticed something.

Elon Musk has quite a few children, eight to be specific.

Why is that? Does he want to use them to build a giant human ladder to Mars? Does he want to use them as indentured Doge coin miners? Does he just like children?

No, the truth is far less sinister than all of those (for a change).

You see, in order for you to fully understand the story I will need to, tell you a story.

You see, I like saying you see a lot to begin my paragraphs, this is because I am a horrible writer.

Though that is entirely unrelated to the story. You see many years ago-1982-the Musk Clan was a large and prosperous dynasty that ruled benevolently over their kingdom of South Africa.

The king was Errol Musk, and as all Musks did he had many children, 24 to be exact.

But out of all of them Elon Musk was the one who was set to inherit the kingdom, despite being the youngest of his siblings.

But then disaster struck as out of the ocean District 9 and Chappie attacked the kingdom, slaughtering as many Musks as they could find because as everyone knows District 9s and Chappies hate Musks.

As an army of District 9s was destroying the royal palace Errol Musk hid his last remaining child and told him to rebuild their dynasty just before he was vaporized by a District 9 laser ray.

And so ever since that day Elon has been trying to rebuild the Musk dynasty, one child at a time.

Except this time he does not intend to stop at South Africa, he will not rest until the Musk family rules the entire world and literally everyone can directly trace their lineage to Elon Musk. Most likely several times…

Aw how wholesome!

And yes I know literally nothing about South Africa other than the movies District 9 and Chappie.

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Case 44:

WHAT ARE THESE COMICS?!

I’ve looked at all of his comics 25/7 for the last 30 years, studying every immaculate expression, every perfectly straight line, but I still can’t figure out who is posting them!

This bastard’s even posted two more since I last reviewed them, one seems to be some sick art piece that intends to cause people aneurysms from it’s sheer complexity.

And the other is a demonically warped and twisted portrait of reality, where some eldritch being has entire galaxies on it’s nose.

He clearly intends the end of the world, and that is obvious to anyone who has seen his comics, so I won’t have to explain it.

The only mystery about him is who he is…

I’ve checked and double checked and triple checked and quadruple checked everyone in the entire world, but none of them were him.

I checked every last single person, being and item on my long list of enemies. But none of them were him, not even the microwave…

I even resorted to checking my two assistants, but neither of them were him, not even Butler…

There is literally not a single person that I haven’t checked in my eternal quest for truth. I have abandoned all of my other pursuits, I don’t take any other cases anymore, I don’t even sleep or eat or drink.

My only sustenance is determination.

I’ll find who he is, even if it kills my assistants…

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Just a quick reminder that if I’m killed, Buwutler will take my place.

And I really know how much everyone loves him

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Logically, you live in south America. Let me explain. You are on a no fly list, the Amazon is in south America. No one crossed the Darien gap recently. Therefore: you live in South america.

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For a second i read it “sloth america”

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As a South American, I am offended and recommend locking the doors at night.

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I undestand

“Deploying american sloths as deffence force at night”

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I have literally never been anywhere that’s not generally a good idea. Do they exist?

  • Yes, they do exist, it’s just NA and SA (places I’ve been) are belgiumed
  • No, they dont, the world is a scary and dark place

0 voters

Please tell me the answer

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All around the world there are smaller communities where it might not be necessary (ie. a town of 1,000 in Utah), but in general, locking your doors at night is a good idea.

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I’ve lived in a tiny rural community when I was growing up. Didn’t lock our doors much till a random homeless guy climbed the fence and ran around and I think asked for drugs and got the sheriff’s office called on him. My parents locked the door after, and I definitely agree with them on that.

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If you don’t lock your doors fralegend015 will break in your house and start an argument with you.

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ill be locking my doors and arming landmines on my welcome mat in that case.

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All houses in Brazil have iron gates, barbed wire on the walls and cameras everywhere.

And people still manage to break into houses.

Brazil is not for beginners

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lockpicking is scarily easy, ive managed it once without professional tools and i didnt have a teache, just like an internet guide. the real challenge to breaking into somewhere without guards is having sufficiently oversized balls.

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I once read a book that explained how to make a bomb out of a febreeze can, and while I don’t remember the exact method I remember the gist (it’s the pressure buildup). Not the sneakiest way to break and enter, but simple and fairly cheap.

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Mini-Case 3177:

WHY IS ZENZONE OBSESSED WITH ELON MUSK?

If you’ve read the more recent cases of Zenzone, you’ll notice that many, BUT many do reference Melon.
In fact, he seems to be totally obsessed with Ilon Mos, including Buwutler telling me he saw a huge Elon musk poster in his room, as well as the 10 hour version of the elon musk song on his terribly outdated computer.

Why does it happen? The answer is simple.

Inhales

ZENZONE IS THE SECRET CHILD BETWEEN ELON MUSI AND JERRY SEINFELD!

Did not understand? Okay, I’ll explain. A long time ago, Elom met Jerry, and they fell in love. Unfortunately, due to the conservative mother nature that is controlled by the Qatari government, it is impossible for two men to have a biological child. Luckily, Yelon had an idea. He created a shell company, The Tedium Conpany, to build a machine that would splice their DNA together into a new human being. With the help of Zucc, Susan “Karen” Wojak and Blender Guru, he managed to create a perfect machine, but when it came time to test it, something went wrong, and then it emerged, ahem Zarnœsiœus Anugus Musk Seinfeld III, aka Zenzone. Frightened by what they created, Jerry and Yellon left him at the door of a house and left. It happened to be Mr Beast’s home, and Zenzone enjoyed a life of wealth and silly challenges, but one day he left home and went to live in Thrive Church, South Africa, home of Ilon Dusk. Since then, Zenzone has been trying to reunite with his parents, and maybe one day he will.

*Ouw, Hi~ Buwutler hewe. Butler asked me to write something funny to wrap up the case, so here goes:

Òwo*

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lies, unfounded, insane lies…