If theyāre lies, itās Blender Guruās fault, he told me everything after I finished the donut tutorial, partly because my donut turned out good, partly because Buwutler pointed a MH-78 1987 series A at it.
Case 45:
WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE STOCKING CAPS ON THEM?
If you have visited the thrive community forum in the last few hours then you might have noticed something.
Everyone is wearing a stocking cap.
Every last single one, including me.
Why is that?
Well to answer that I would first have to tell you about the story of Saint Nicholas.
Nicholas was born in a fishing village in Greece, and from the day he could walk he worked in The Grease Mines (Greeceās namesake). He loved his life in The Grease Mines until one day Greece decided to make grease illegal, shutting down the mine that he had worked at his entire life.
With no where else to go and steadily heading towards bankruptcy Nicholas did that thing that any man would do in that situation.
He went to a brothel.
And once he was there he bought it and turned the nice women who worked there into toy makers, thus creating the North Pole (so named for the pole that was left over from when it was a brothel, which pointed directly north).
He became a very popular man in Greece, selling toys to everyone, rich and poor, and eventually he became known all across Europe and the Mediterranean Sea.
But eventually the demand for his toys far outweighed his supply, and even worse the forests that he bought his wood from had burned down in several tragic accidents.
But even though his back was against the wall, he was still a kind and generous man, and so made a plan to make as many toys as he could and then deliver them all to every child in the known world on one night.
And the night he chose? The night before the birthday of our lord and savior, Christmas Eve.
His plans were a success, and before he knew it he was delivering the presents himself.
But as he was sailing across the Mediterranean to Italy a tragedy occurred, a storm hit his boat and made it capsize.
As no one had learned how to swim in those days, Nicholas drowned, his last words being āho ho hoā (in reference to the women he employed).
but due to his generosity and devotion to the holy spirit, his soul was sent back to earth every Christmas Eve so that he could deliver toys to all the good children of the world.
And that, is the story of the patron saint of prostitutes, Saint Nicholasā¦
Oh, what does that have to do with the stocking caps?
Well Nicholas received his famous cap and outfit from the previous owner of the North Pole, as it was a very fashionable set of clothing for pimps in those days. And when Nicholas died he angrily threw his cap and shook his hand up at the storm that had killed him, which was DoomLightning taking a stroll across Europe, doing this he had unknowingly cursed DoomLightning and anyone around him to wear stocking caps every year at December and apparently the last few days of November.
And so once again DoomLightning the Aztec god has brought chaos and destruction to the community forums, which is why he must be banned.
Do it already mods. >:/
Case 46:
WHO IS DREAM
If you have ever been on Youtube within the last decade, then you might have had heard of a man named Dream.
This is not his real name of course, this is just his username, or as I call them, lies.
So, if his real name is not Dream, then what is his name? Who is he? Where is he? And what time of day does he use the bathroom most often?
These are all very urgent questions for the human race as a whole, and questions that we have been asking for years.
But today, I will answer them.
With a song.
There was once a man named [BLANK]
Whose life was so very dank.
But not in a negative way.
For he such loved to play.
Minecraft.
And every single night.
He found it bright.
To mine more of those caves.
But then one day something happened.
That made everyone around him clap-pened.
For he had just beaten the game rapidly.
And he was so happidly.
That he decided to just.
Play his games in a gust.
And upload them all to Youtube.
And upload them all to Youtube.
And every day.
He found another way.
To shave time off of his replays.
But then one day something happened.
And people realized he was doing something-ened.
That he was going into games.
And rigging things so that the dames.
Would all find him attractive.
And so with his fame tarnished.
He decided to just vanish.
And he did it to this day.
And heāll do it till heās grey.
Or his name isnāt [BLANK].
1 Like
His name is Clay. Interesting that in a previous update of Minecraft there was a āglitchā where certain clay patches could lead you to diamondsā¦
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Case 47:
WHY DO PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT QUEEN ELIZABETH IS DEAD?
If you have mentioned the Queen of England in the last few months, or asked how sheās been doing, then you might have been told that she is dead.
This is, completely false.
Everyone knows that Queen Elizabeth is immortal thanks to the powers of tea, so why do so many people falsely believe she is dead? Why does everyone not notice The Queen standing right before them, transparent as she may be? And when will the McRib be back?
I will answer all of these questions and more, in this Case File.
So everyone thinks that Queen Elizabeth is dead, even though she isnāt, and there is no information on the McRibās return date.
Why is this?
Iāll tell you why, itās the Lizard Martian Jeff Bezos Cyborg Clones that live deep underneath the Earth that have done this! They didnāt have enough control over the British Empire so they told everyone that Queen Elizabeth was dead so that they could install a Lizard Martian Jeff Bezos Cyborg Clone on the throne.
This is entirely true, except, it isnāt.
For how could they craft such an intricate lie? Sure, theyāre good at controlling the media (because they are the media), but even they couldnāt fashion a hoax on this scale. It can only be one person.
In order to find out who it is, you have to think on who would have the most to gain from everyone thinking that The Queen died? from a new Monarch being required? From the next person in line ascending to the throne?
Everyoneās minds instantly turn to one person, Elon Musk!
Thatās right, he used his ownership of Twitter to announce that The Queen had died, and made sure to repeatedly tell everyone on a repeating announcement in every Tesla on earth (an announcement that is still being played even today). With The Queen out of the way Elon was able to buy the British Empire, and officially gain the title Emperor Musk in order to own the libs.
Nothing else makes sense, this is the only way it could have happened.
This is why The mods must immediately pledge loyalty to Emperor Musk or else he will buy out Thrive in order to rename it Thrive but with the tesla logo as the T!
1 Like
Case 48:
WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ROBLOX IS BETTER THAN MINECRAFT???
It is an objective fact that Minecraft is the best game to ever exist, and that Roblox is the worst game to ever exist.
Everyone knows this, and yet some people still insist, extremely falsely, that Roblox is somehow better than Minecraft, or that theyāre the same, or that itās subjective.
All of these claims are not only insane conspiracy theories, but theyāre also dangerous to reality.
For if we deny such an objective truth for too long then the entire universe will collapse in on itself and destroy everything except for cockroaches, twinkies, and Queen Elizabeth.
So we must get to the root of this vile lie, or else everything except for cockroaches, twinkies, and Queen Elizabeth will be destroyed.
Luckily for us, I already know where the lie comes from.
It comes from Maximilien Robespierre, the inventor of Roblox.
After the French Revolution (which promised that the people would have bread), nobody had any bread, and so to distract from this Robespierre invented Roblox as a way to distract everyone from their starvation.
The only problem was Robespierre was horrible at making games, and so nobody played his game.
This is what led directly to the Reign of Terror, as well as The Cult Of The Supreme Being (which worshipped Robespierre as the supreme creator-of Roblox).
After countless public executions and massacres the French people warmed up to Roblox, and it became very popular with the French, even after the Reign of Terror ended.
So great was the terror, that even to this day all French people insist that Roblox is a good game, and if you say otherwise then they will panic and run away from you as fast as they can screaming āRoblox is the best game ever oh Robespierre please do not decapitate me in yon holy guillotineā. They also say that phrase all of the time, or so I think, I donāt speak French (I am an English supremacist, all other languages deserve nothing but death (and bilinguals are language traitors)).
So the solution to stopping Roblox? Nuke France.
Devs, do it already!
1 Like
How about this?: Minecraft 
Roblox
how about this instead minecraft terraria
minecraft 
roblox 
terraria
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agreeable.
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Minecraft Roblox Terraria
Minecraft Any other game
heresy.
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minecraft terraria donāt starve stardew valley
roblox 
minecraft
. . . . . . . 
terraria
roblox
Minecraft Terraria Donāt Starve Stardew Valley Oxygen Not Included ULTRAKILL Doom
fine.
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Robloxā ā ā ā 
ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā
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Quality Roblox creations Minecraft Any other game
only if they are completely free and not pay to win or are worth the money you paid for them
2 Likes
CASE 0
WHERE IS KANYE SOUTH?
It is widely known that Kanye South went missing shortly after his great battle with Kanye North, many believe he died, BUT IS THAT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? I believe that Kanye South is still alive, he escaped Kanye North and now resides on the thrive forums in the form of none other than, @zenzonegaming.
1 Like
What makes senseā¦
We all know that Zenfone is an evil dolphin disguised as Mr. beast adopted son
Now look at this map
Kanyeās you-know-what location is obvious.
Logically, Kanye East must be in Ohia (St. Nixon city probably) Kanye South is in Greenland obviously
and zenzone is exactly at the kenyan base of atlantis
That is, Thrive is a project funded by atlantis (Hyllainaera) and Zenzone is one of them
2 Likes