👻 The Thrive Vault of Paranormal Activity

If they’re lies, it’s Blender Guru’s fault, he told me everything after I finished the donut tutorial, partly because my donut turned out good, partly because Buwutler pointed a MH-78 1987 series A at it.

Case 45:

WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE STOCKING CAPS ON THEM?

If you have visited the thrive community forum in the last few hours then you might have noticed something.

Everyone is wearing a stocking cap.

Every last single one, including me.

Why is that?

Well to answer that I would first have to tell you about the story of Saint Nicholas.

Nicholas was born in a fishing village in Greece, and from the day he could walk he worked in The Grease Mines (Greece’s namesake). He loved his life in The Grease Mines until one day Greece decided to make grease illegal, shutting down the mine that he had worked at his entire life.

With no where else to go and steadily heading towards bankruptcy Nicholas did that thing that any man would do in that situation.

He went to a brothel.

And once he was there he bought it and turned the nice women who worked there into toy makers, thus creating the North Pole (so named for the pole that was left over from when it was a brothel, which pointed directly north).

He became a very popular man in Greece, selling toys to everyone, rich and poor, and eventually he became known all across Europe and the Mediterranean Sea.

But eventually the demand for his toys far outweighed his supply, and even worse the forests that he bought his wood from had burned down in several tragic accidents.

But even though his back was against the wall, he was still a kind and generous man, and so made a plan to make as many toys as he could and then deliver them all to every child in the known world on one night.

And the night he chose? The night before the birthday of our lord and savior, Christmas Eve.

His plans were a success, and before he knew it he was delivering the presents himself.

But as he was sailing across the Mediterranean to Italy a tragedy occurred, a storm hit his boat and made it capsize.

As no one had learned how to swim in those days, Nicholas drowned, his last words being “ho ho ho” (in reference to the women he employed).

but due to his generosity and devotion to the holy spirit, his soul was sent back to earth every Christmas Eve so that he could deliver toys to all the good children of the world.

And that, is the story of the patron saint of prostitutes, Saint Nicholas…

Oh, what does that have to do with the stocking caps?

Well Nicholas received his famous cap and outfit from the previous owner of the North Pole, as it was a very fashionable set of clothing for pimps in those days. And when Nicholas died he angrily threw his cap and shook his hand up at the storm that had killed him, which was DoomLightning taking a stroll across Europe, doing this he had unknowingly cursed DoomLightning and anyone around him to wear stocking caps every year at December and apparently the last few days of November.

And so once again DoomLightning the Aztec god has brought chaos and destruction to the community forums, which is why he must be banned.

Do it already mods. >:/

Case 46:

WHO IS DREAM

If you have ever been on Youtube within the last decade, then you might have had heard of a man named Dream.

This is not his real name of course, this is just his username, or as I call them, lies.

So, if his real name is not Dream, then what is his name? Who is he? Where is he? And what time of day does he use the bathroom most often?

These are all very urgent questions for the human race as a whole, and questions that we have been asking for years.

But today, I will answer them.

With a song.

There was once a man named [BLANK]

Whose life was so very dank.

But not in a negative way.

For he such loved to play.

Minecraft.

And every single night.

He found it bright.

To mine more of those caves.

But then one day something happened.

That made everyone around him clap-pened.

For he had just beaten the game rapidly.

And he was so happidly.

That he decided to just.

Play his games in a gust.

And upload them all to Youtube.

And upload them all to Youtube.

And every day.

He found another way.

To shave time off of his replays.

But then one day something happened.

And people realized he was doing something-ened.

That he was going into games.

And rigging things so that the dames.

Would all find him attractive.

And so with his fame tarnished.

He decided to just vanish.

And he did it to this day.

And he’ll do it till he’s grey.

Or his name isn’t [BLANK].

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His name is Clay. Interesting that in a previous update of Minecraft there was a “glitch” where certain clay patches could lead you to diamonds…

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