It killed your wife and itself
Today is not your day
You got isekai’d
you get transported to a world exactly the same as the one you came from only your most favorite things in the world don’t exist also you hate anime and this world is anime
the rest of your life is just not the rest of your life
you hold a staring contest with the sun
It goes exactly as you think it would (you lose the contest and your eyes)
Today is not your day.
Oh look! A Quarter!
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“Oh look a quarter… of the energy generated through the suns whole life” you should really be more specific
Today is just not your day
You sit on a chair
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The Chair Was Okay
Today Was A Day
You Fell Asleep
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freddy the dream demon killed you while you were asleep
tonight is just not your night
you try to get superpowers by breaking into a lab and drinking everything
A lab agent walks in on you drinking liquid carbon dioxide and says,
“Today is just not your day”
You decide to play monopoly with a few friends
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You simply lost
Today is not your day
Today IS your day
today is your day but tomorrow isn’t
tomorrow is just not your day
you get a job as a terrible biologist
When you were working,reality.exe has stopped working and you died
Today is just not your day
You call Robert E O Speedwagon a trash waifu
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you try to get superpowers again by breaking into the same lab and doing the same thing.
Is this the result or the beginning? I’m a bit confused tbh.
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I just called Robert E O Speedwagon, the “trash waifu” you know. He/She/It didn’t answer though…
Today just isn’t your day.
Edit: your mom did not walk in on you and your partner going at it like rabbits…
The ongoing result. 
you necropost on today is just not your day: the game
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But @hhyyrylainen walks in on you, steals your partner’s attention and convince him/her to stop what he/she was doing. But instead, your partner continues what he/she was doing, and then slowly kills you and himself/herself while laughing like he/she was a regular Rust toxic player. While both of you are slowly opening the mighty door of death, your partner is constantly whispering into your ears : “hhyyrylainen, close the thread! hhyyrylainen, close the thread harder! Yes! Close the thread, come on come on come on close it harder, yeah!”. In the corner of the room, hhyyrylainen is discretly laughing at you both.
Today is not your day nor your thread.
@hhyyrylainen closes the thread, and you are dead, so nobody can continue it.
EDIT : Sorry, my pills are starting to stop working at night, and it makes me laugh at crazy things and do some weird jokes. I think I’ll stop posting and go to bed.
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As I scroll farther and farther down the post I breathe harder and harder out of my nose until I sound like a donkey.
Today is just not my day.
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i decide i want super powers so i steal a nuclear power rod and eat it.
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You eat a goddamn nuclear power rod. I-i don’t know what you expected.
Today is just not your day.
I attend your funeral.
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my ghost kills you.
Today is just not your day.
you get isekai’d into fallout 4.