it was a sting and you have been sentenced to life in prison.
today is just not your day.
you stare at a calendar hoping you will travel through time to the point were thrive is fully released.
cโmon this is real life, you didnโt time-travel, oh and turns out thrive is now cancelled because no one is working on it anymore.
today is just not your day
you google a random mix of words and letters
you are 5 and the computer says โdid you mean were do babys come fromโ.
you have lost your innocence.
today is just not your day.
you are driving down a road.
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But then you realize that you are stuck on a infinite loop in a simulation.
You get out the simulation and wake up as a creature with completely different physics and Universe.
Today is just not your day
You try to do everything you can to see what happens in this new world
But you get killed by the Hacker.
Today is just not your day.
You respawn as a Team Fortress 2 character.
It was Soldier. We all know what happend to himโฆ
Today is not your day.
You find an old USB key on the street.
You are hunted down by the Russian government.
Today is just not your day.
โฆ
โฆ
today is just not your day.
you get bitten by a radioactive spider,
You donโt become Spiderman. You just got irradiated.
Today is just not your day.
You go to Chernobyl.
Y O U G O T O C H E R N O B Y L
Today is just not your day
Youโre thirsty and decide to get something from the fridge.
Itโs irradiated water.
Today is just not your day.
You keep going into the cursed loop, donโt you?
hehe 
you are a superhero!
But you cause lots of destruction and people donโt trust you anymore.
Today is just not your day.
You can now make a base on the Moon.
You arenโt in the mood.
Today is just not your day
You become hulk.
you get so mad you have a heart attack.
Today is just not your day.
you eat the forbidden fruit.
You get punished because you werenโt supposed to eat it.
Today is just not your day.
You get one hundred billion dollars.
people started stalking you for the money, then they tried to steal it, then they threatened you for it, eventually someone killed you and got all your money.
today is just not your day.
you discover aliens.
But you use their technology against themselves with the help of the XCOM project.
Today is just not your day.
You find a BOT in the forums.
you reported it, but the mods accidentally banned you, and theres no way to unban you.
today is just not your day.
you travel back in time to 1889 Austria, when Hitler was born.
You make the German secret plan to restore the Brazilian monarchy be succesful(overthrown in November 1889)to put German monarch in there and decide it would be better to avoid the assassination of the Austrian archduke in 1918, the heir to the Austrian-Hungarian throne, by the Yugoslav nationalist Gavrilo Princip, in Sarajevo, Bosnia, that triggered the immediate war, (so germany remains a colonial empire 
)
You travel back to the alternative 2020
Sorry I had to do this someone can make the โtoday is not your dayโ part? XD